I dread this social banter with the guy buttering my bread, so in retort I mumble “what happened in lewa stayed in lewa “He laughs it away then drops some humor “except syphilis, that shyt will follow you home”. We laugh it off and mind our business
Yes ladies and gentlemen, I had a great weekend, far away from civilization, far from the flashing lights…I was at the Lewa marathon evening bash….Now for those of you who might not have been in the loop, here is what the lewa marathon is all about
Apparently prince William and the wifey stayed here right before they got hitched, William having proposed to her, at the slopes of mount Kenya, that’s not all that makes Lewa so magical, it’s the only marathon I know where guys run side by side with the animals, yes folks there are no physical barriers separating the runners from the wildlife.
So Friday evening the guys at work @Mary @ Mashaa @Nora came over to my workstation ,evidently psyched” you guy, si we go to lewa kesho, the company is footing the bills.”Truth be told I was already going,but I was going with the guys at Toyota Catalogue @rkoech,but the idea of not spending a dime was enticing ,”Kampuni inalipa??then am down with it”
So sato around 12pm we all hooked up in tao,the chicks looking sexy as ever @Mary @Betty the dudes already drunk.I remembered a couple of years ago Raymond Chepkwony blogged about how tusker should sponser the marathon coz at the end of the day guys still get drunk,why not make some money off it,any who we drive off to lewa,crack a four pack of tusker and we off…..
Nanyuki was our fast stop; I love Nanyuki, best town after Nairobi and Mombasa for me, one of the only towns this side of the equator where you can go with a million bucks and end up broke after raving and indulging in one to many extra curricula affairs.The meat at this place is equally great…and the cheap tusker from AFCO (85 bob) just seals the deal. So frothy delight and nyama later you can guess what happened next…we was high as fack, I mean ile high mpaka tukasahau kwenye tunaenda…(15 bottles o tusker will do that to you).My boy from the Army @wig_z thought we should just rave at Nanyuki and call it a weekend but we weren’t driving all this way just to rave in nanyuki
We somehow managed to drive off to Lewa some minutes past 6,I mean hakukuwa na haraka,its not like we were running or anything.The chics at the back were screaming…I guess alcohol + estrogen=heightened emotion.I dozed of next thing I remember “nyga amka,wamekataa ku allow wasee ndani”
It didn’t hit me there and then,I was still recovering from the effects of the booze,I could smell samosas in the car,that is what I was more concerned with right now…then It sunk in and I amkad”ati ,hakuna kuingia”…I alighted to,my utter shock there was a line of cars from here to Timbuktu, and the line wasn’t easing,far from it,ilikuwa inarefuka.
We walked towards the gate,crowd behind, ongeada with the gate jamaa.Dude was the rudest nyga I eva met
”unafikiria watu wanaingianga lewa ovyo ovyo saa zile wanataka?Sonko amesema hakuna kuingia unless wewe ni official!”
Guys started hauling insults,some Indian guys were dishing theirs in Gujarati.Some chic was trying to seduce her way in…”mschana ebu niondokee kabla nikuje hapo”
I was bored,took my phone out decided to tweet @bcollymore cc @lewaconservacy. None of them replied(must have been offline or something)
Back to the car, poped the trunk, took out a six pack of Heineken(courtesy of @mashaa) and decided to drown my misery in booze..Betty joined me(I luv me a chic who can handle her booze) Mary was bongaing with some guys.Enoch was trying to pull diplomacy at the gate(evidently not working)
Then I remembered @iddsalim was from Isiolo so I decided to tweet him, he replied a couple of minutes later(probably coding)The management at Lewa must have felt we were trying to steal the rhinos or antelopes coz a few minutes later the pow pow were here.
‘’Kila mtu aingie kwa gari,na mzime hiyo kelele”…try telling that to over a hundred drunk guys blasting music from their cars…so the 5-0 realizing no one was paying much attention,decided to cock their guns ndo tukajua they mean business.I was pissed,drive all this way just to be frozen at the gate.There had to be something we could do.
Luckily Mary has a brother working at lewa so we were let in(helps to juana in Kenya) much to the anger of the other guys…the ride from the gate was anything but comfortable…the road is basically impassible…the dust unbearable but somehow we managed to fika the campsite bone fire.
The crowd there was unbelievable, the guys at Toyota Catalogue were already there, so were guys from work(basically tulikuwa wa mwisho kufika) The music was great…Nyamachoma was in plenty…so I found my way to where the Finlay’s guys were…..grabbed a tusker…and called it a rave.
Next thing it was morning, and we were having breakfast at Meru,I was covered in dust top to bottom but so were 30 something other guys….mtajua aje tulikuwa lewa. After breako tukatoa locks at some joint in Meru Grabbed a couple of Tuskers and drove back home.
So here I am Monday morning, splitting migraine to keep me company, Trying to get work done coz kesho am back to the road again, this time to Nakuru.Lanet to be presise, my lil brother @nelson_n passing out from the military academy. He a 1st lieutenant now, that means crazy drinking kesho…I’ll blog about that on Thursday
Ps. I hear the guys we left at the gate were finally let in around 12am after they vowed not to leave (patience pays au)