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Monthly Archives: July 2011

#My5Links: My Five Links.

If “Any blogger reading this is tagged!” qualifies as an actual tag,then I can say I was tagged by SAVVY KENYA,on this post>>.So here goes:

1.My most popular post:My Beef with Kenyan Campo System.

I kinda expected this one to be popular,coz of all the subliminal blows to the university system I  threw.

The follow up,the acknowledgment,the  insultes stupides<stupid insults> and someone listening

2.Post that didn’t get the attention it deserved:Blue Mountain State:My list of Campus Donts

I never quite got why people didnt find this post all that intersting,labda sukari yangu ni chumvi ya mwingine

3.Post whose success surprised me: @campmulla

I blogged about campmulla,and they contacted me,they even went ahead to reblog my post on their blog.

How cool is that!!!!!

4.My most controversial post: #Zegz Addict

Without a doubt it would have to be a post about a certain Nympho called Galis,Nilikemewa mpaka nika toa some content i had paraphrased

5.Post I’m most proud of:  How to spot fake Converse All Stars.

I know people may write about the plight In Turkana and label it their proudest post,but mine is about converse shoes<not that am not concerned with the plight>

a.)Because I get nearly 200 searches a day on how to spot fake converse shoes

b.)Believe it or not Converse shop gave me a big up(wish it came with a coupon)

and c.)I love me a pair of converse shoes

Viola my 5 links,I hereby tag:

Ictumwet.

 
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Posted by on July 29, 2011 in 254, MEMORIES., true stories, twitter

 

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JKUAT graduation

So the good people at JKUAT  class of 2010/2011 will be graduating tommorow,I know thats not exactly breaking news to many of you,but it does warrant a blog post.A blog post to big up all the tweeps av grown fond of,tweeps who i have gotten drunk with,passed out with and even mwaorad with.I  will be a bit nostaligc so bear with me:

I will miss Shiro,Nelz and ka smalz the 3 adorable friends of mine.

nelz,shiro,ka smallz

The memories we have forged will never be forgoten(zingine ziliacha scar) .In between doing shots kwa stage,u guys doing shots bila lime alafu mna act like nothing happened. Kwenda rave zingine random za wednesday night,au monday evening when everyone else is in school.To funny events like the noodles fiasco…how can i forget you guys being fukuzwad by janitors usiku,crushing parties za wasee wa cu without an invite,alafu tuko maji ingine crazy.

To weird things like Bangara, and the long walk in pursuit,the cwazy house parties,drinking stuff i cant even post on my blog.

Going to mombasa like its nothing big

Remember “oya nelz si tudunde coast saa hii”,and its 9pm in the nyt…man you chics was cwazy,ill miss that.

Another group of tweeps i will miss is nesh,banda,brown,jack…aka the guys who drink and the guy who doesn’t

Where do i begin,Nesh the guy with the tatoos, in between you and marto dissing guys without tats ati”wale hawana tatoo watoke hapa”you getting drunk on sundays<i never got that> to pams on weekends,dude you rocked that shyt.

Banda,the 3 pointers on the court was lethal like an arsenic injection,you and jack worked majic on that court

Brown:dude your final year project was dope,ukinyimwa first class tuna tafuta omutata a start maandamano jkuat..

Next:drum rolls please……solo

Nyga where do i begin with you,You the only guy i know alive who drunk for 1WEEK STRAIGHT. Mazee kukata maji abijan sice 2008,pams with you brother talking shyt we couldnt get<umo lingo>,kwenda mess ukiwa first na bado una hijack line….dude enyewe ilikuwa tyt .

Lazima Nyamira<local bar> ataskia loss of revenue ju ya absence yako.

Yes am biased like that am going to miss guys wa mathematics and comp science the most coz basically that was the crew….

Nelz and shi,you know amo hit u up on twitter every morning as is custom…

Lakini kama hujatajwa hapa,usiseme ati huyo jama jaymo ana ni hate siku hizi.na vile alikuwa anashindwa kulipa fare namsort…mob lovings to everyone….

Back to the server room

 
 

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Someone finally listened.

You may/may not remember a blog post i wrote a couple of months ago about my beef with the Kenyan campo system,if not click here>>>.Any who after screaming my lungs out to anyone who would offer an ear, arguing with @savvykenya about proxy servers and generally sending smoke signals so that the folks at JKUAT could get a hint,I finally found some one who shared the same school of thot with me,a certain chairman of department at JKUAT,ok maybe not all but what really matters is that he listened,he was impressed with this snippet from this blog:

………… With this in mind what do i have to say:change the whole system..do a bottom to top overhaul…change the course content,run expos,create Incubation labs..take JKUAT for example..create jkuatlab..a place for students to develop software,mobile apps,internet apps.Get a mentor ship program..give incentives(you will be surprised how something as little as 20k will get guys coding)Reward effort.stop rewarding guys who cram course content with first class honors,and lowers to guys who had more prowess in practical aspects of CS but never got a practical exam given to them…yet they can code even a whole operating system given the opportunity.…………….

So after an almost 3 hour long chat on this and that  i was given the opportunity to put my idea in writing and submit it to him by today(July 26th 2011).No promises of my proposal being adopted into the system  were made but he was really impressed.

So I  got all creative,took a shot of Viceroy and started writing,I have an Idea(among others) of a coding competition,a pitting of the titans if you may,coding for web 2.0,mobile apps and N-tier application  design…the ultimate goal,adoption by the school of well crafted apps,and to make things juicier a cash reward for the best projects.

The coding would keenly be followed by mentors(of their own choosing) who would advice the participants through out  the said coding period(1 month). But the mentors themselves would not be actually involved in the actual coding,so kama una thani utaleta iddsalim,iza bro.

To actualize this the school would have to avail resources (internet access,books ) and the actual prize money(si thani ni mita moja so punguza nyege).The judging would commence after the said one month has elapsed and the ultimate winners rewarded.

That being said,i know this is not the best idea out there but this is what i currently have in mind to foster tech development,so dear readers,fellow jkuat students,jkuat alumni,techies and what not please feel free to offer ideas that would foster thinkers,developers and innovators in the IT field,Instaed of guys who just waste bandwidth downloading midget porn.

I will post the proposal Tomorrow officially on my paste bin <here>

Tafakari hayo.

 
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Posted by on July 26, 2011 in 254, INTERNSHIP, true stories, twitter, weekend

 

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New degree cource B.sc Drinking

Name:CrazyNairobian

Location:Nairobi Kenya

Intention:Re blog a work of art

Permissions:Its my blog God damn it,i can re blog aslong as i pay Literal appreciation to the author

That being said,allow me to re blog something i read from crazy Nairobian jana:

Announcement for New Degree course B.Sc (Drinking)

The University Of Nairobi has announced the introduction of a brand new degree course, B.Sc (Drinking), which will be offered through local pubs and restaurants at very affordable fees. Details for the new course as availed to the press are as follows;

1) The lessons will be taken during weekends and Friday evening at any Pub, restaurant or other outlet with relevant course materials subject to the Mututho Law.

2) Before taking any of the hard courses, all students are required to undertake introductory courses like Nyama Choma 106, Eat At Your Mothers House 107, Supu Na Ulimi 108 or Kudoea Kwa Neighbor 110.

3) Core courses include WD 101 (Weekend drinking 101) and the difficult Nursing Hangovers 102. For those who find these courses a little tough, Pucking 103 will be offered in Lecture Room LOO A and LOO B.

4) Those who take Pucking 103 away from these venues might enjoy Vibare 606 or Makumbo 702 for free from other Lecturers on duty like Prof Bouncer, Dr Makanga and the very thorough Prof Members Ole Public.

5) All students are required to have all relevant course materials including Sufficient bottles of beer, Nyama choma, cigarrettes (optional) and pocket money for personal use during the course. PLEASE, DO NOT ATTEND WITHOUT RELEVANT MATERIALS HOPING TO SHARE OR STEAL!

6) Female students found trying to issue sexual favours for better grades will be punished by being forced to take Mpango wa kando 201 or chips Funga 202 courses after classes.

7) Items deemed illegal in the lecture hall include Alvaro, assorted sodas and mineral water. Students caught with these items in the lecture room will be kicked out! Class Prefects including Mr. Waiter and Miss Waitress will be on the look out for such.

8) Students hoping to improve their grades are welcome for remedial classes every during weekdays. Extra charges will apply.

9) While the outlets offering these services will strive to provide materials for neccesary for the course completion like tables, chairs and lab materials like glasses and plates, the materials may not be enough depending on the time of month. Students are thus adviced to report early to avoid disappointments.

10) ALL students who want to take home-learning courses are adviced to collect the books, SIX-PACK by Tusker, Pilsner or Redds, Viceroy – A case study of Alcohol content 40%, ZAPPA – watch your shit go red, and other relevant course books and materials as listed in the local notice board in any supermarket under ALCOHOLIC DRINKS.

11) Parallel Degree Programs for those with low grades and lots of money will be offered at special outlets like Hilton, 680 hotel, SERENA and Panafric Hotel. More outlets will be announced soon. Please not Chang’aa 501, Busaa 502, Keg 503 and Muratina 504 are strictly NOT offered under the parallel degree program.

DISCLAIMER:

a) University of Nairobi will not be liable for physical and financial damages or time-loss incurred by any students who report to the wrong lecture halls especially classes that offer courses like Policemen 404, Ngeta 602 and Mdudu 609 and Mututho 202.

b) The University recommends all students carry one BF or GF to class depending on preferences. Students who fail to do this are required to drop the course, Game-Yako-Iko-Down 909, if they wish to avoid taking loneliness 901 in the lecture rooms. …

 
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Posted by on July 21, 2011 in 254, Humour, Reflections, twitter, weekend

 

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What I want #truethots

. I  had a close someone ask me “Jaymo,na wewe ju tumejuana na wewe miaka hiyo yote na unashindanga story za comps,what do you want in life,sijawai jua?”.This got  me thinking,and yall know anything that raises my pulse rate is was worth tweeting or blogging about

what do I want: I want to develop for Android,mimi ata mkiniambia Symbian oooh,s60 oooh,sijali,Android just does it for me,Najua techies will read this and hit me with statistics about how symbian be the ishh…to which i will reply with Kenyan Demographics about android growth<hence target market>.I ditched Statistics as my Math Major in campo but it doenst take MGF , CDF or test of Hypothesis to know that’s where to head.Hence I have amuad my final year project will be an Android app. code named =>Tafuta<=

Am a man of modesty and realism marrying to give birth to aka jaymo,hence cash isn’t on my check list.Not coz i got a huge trust fund stacked away in some Cayman Island account but because the way to really learn something is to do it practically,and when something has to be done practically it requires mulla.

Enter free services,unless you got connect from here to silicon Valley am betting you can’t have it all,you cant have access to an OTA server at safaricom,an ISA server at campo,code snippets from Google labs..so how do you get a piece of the action..for me this is how:

“Jaymo,cooperative Bank ina install SBS, mpya,so tunaenda ku upgrade network yao,unaona aje,siukuje!!!” obvoiusly half of yall would be out the door by the end of the conversation,here is the catch “Na by the way jaymo hatukulipi,utatu help for free”….hapo ndipo passion ina kick in..its not every day you get a sneak peak into high level clearance areas,then again hawa wasee wanalipwa major chedda na hawakulipi…but Jaymo will be there,atakama i have to take a camel ride,i will be there to learn…mlipe, msilipe.

I hear the critics talking,”Jaymo hiyo ni ufala,utatumiwa the udumpiwe”.True it happened to a pal of mine once,nyga used to work for company X <name withheld>,got excellent exposure,his was accounting,till the next best thing came along,he was prematurely retired,only thing to show for working there was a recommendation letter-or so we thought- six months later,he was still broke,not a jobo in sight..but Karma has its way..through a cruel twist of fate his ex boss died<ule wa company X>,and he got the call to replace him,having been his under study..couple of months later we were indulging in frothy delight on his tab.

I know if i fukuza that chedda now,this is what i will be rocking nikienda rave Langata,froth on me and what not

But cash brings along with it some sense of comfort,relaxation if you may,and that results into laziness,I will  be stuck with the same skill set,while newbies will be uping there game at my expense..couple of years later  jaymo will be rendered redundant na ntarudi kuishi na mum..so free work it is till i make my niche in whatever field i choose.

While we at what I want:I wouldn’t mind me a freaky chic,with curly black  hair and a tattoo that reads ‘rebel without a cause’ on her  boob  and who loves to stay in bed all day with me,doing the nasty 🙂 🙂  nasty :-). but i guess that can wait

May the force be with you,nimerudi server room.

 
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Posted by on July 12, 2011 in INTERNSHIP, Reflections, true stories

 

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#Twitter addiction.

It has become almost a routine,for lack of a better word ill call myself an addict…..a typical textbook addict…withdrawal symptoms kinda addict.No folks am not pulling one of those Galis stories on you,far from it,am talking about a certain Morning ritual I have become addicted to.Ill give you a hint,it involves…Dante,Chebet,Nelz and Ynair…..still no guess,ok then let me divulge,Twitter,,,,,yes folks every morning we tweet,just the 5 of us,about nothing,about everything…

twitter addict

SS<social sites> aren’t exactly my kinda thing,i did try my hand at a couple of them,there was Migg33 back in high school,when everyone thot being a migg merchant was the way to go<don’t even get me started on the poor internet speed back then>,that wave passed,next Facebook which i kinda maintained till date but was never the avid fecebooker…next 2go,sucked at that to<blame sony erricson> all this while paying no attention to my twitter account.

Until i landed on Gravity…

gravity

sasa jaymo Gravity ni nini??sawa basi wacha ni explain,after my sony erricson was repossessed by thugs,i had to downgrade to a nokia symbian s60 phone.so one day a checking out twitter apps and landed on the mother of all apps Gravity.

gravity

What really kunywad me with this twitter client was the Timeline.Gravity has the best timeline ever…no wonder you cant get a full version for free download.so began my addiction with twitter, i began following guys i knew @ctumwet @ombuna@snellima guys i had just met once@iddsalim @savvykenya guys who blogged@archer @bikozulu  tech guys@kachwaya@ihub

So the morning ritual was born:Here is what happens most of the time,I always tweet earliest coz am at the office by 7.30am

@ombuna@snellima@ctumwet@ynair morning yall

That’s usually the first thing even before my eclipse is fired up for the days coding session.Minutes later Dante usually replies @aka_jaymo@ynair@ctumwet@snellima morning.

I then shift from gravity to web..and the days coversating can begin.This twitter list is really funny.

@ctumwet nicknamed dame wa kitenge coz she posted pics of her ‘homemade kitenge’ on her blog<ok snellima was the culprit behind that joke> But av never laghed harder.

@ctumwet's Kitenge

Here is a quote from her bog:Soooo…mad excitement!!! Wondering why I’ve been away from the blog for like three days not saying about the little things that I’ve been allowed to by the Almighty?? A DRESS!! It is a dress the has kept me away from the blog for like three days not saying about the little things that I’ve been allowed to by the Almighty!!!

Then there is @ombuna,not alot to say bout him except he is the emotional one,@ynair recomended i bring him flowers coz he needs some sunshine in his life,between him telling me how he has just been busted growing weed by his dad,and me and him exchanging verbal insults about dubing exams in JKUAT…he   fun lakini<dont let him hear I said that> Lakini dante next sem hakuna ku chew ovyo ovyo!!

@snellima,I call her mellisa,chebet calls her nelz,ynair had a new one this week nazi..she the alumni of the group,having finished campo months ago,graduating this month I guess.Nelz is the mchokozi of the group,She the one who comes up with weird topics of discussion,Juzi they were talking bout mtu wa KBC…only god knows who that is.

@ynair…she introduced the classic line “the tribe has spoken”,a finality in most conversations,ynair always has my  back when i diss dante,mpaka akamwabia ampatie tissues to wipe the tears when dante was getting all emotional.

@aka_jaymo…the blogger.The one who beefs with dante,shares jokes with ynair,used to drink with snellima and blogs with chebet and now is addicted to twitter

So every morning before @alychansatchu starts tweeting you know where you can find me

ps.Follow me <here>

Back to the Server room!!

 
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Posted by on July 9, 2011 in 254, Reflections, true stories, twitter

 

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@campmulla

I had their tracks on loop all weekend,lupe <my i pod>,must have been tired of playing em back to back,or it got addicted to playing A-D-D-I-C-T-E-D.Any who ladies and gentlemen,tweeps and tweephearts..allow  me to sing out my praises to my new best group…campmulla

campmulla

Camp Mulla is a Kenyan Rap Group founded by rappers Taio Tripper, Young Kass, Super-Producer K’Cous and their syndicate C.E.O, Tuchi. Other band Members include Miss.Karun, the First Lady and J-smiles who are superb vocalists. Camp Mulla’s main goal is to spread Urban Hip Hop music influence all Over East Africa and soon Globally.

I remember seeing this group last year at WAPI and shrugging em off as just another group,but bwoy was i wrong..despite their age(Ihear the oldest be 20-youngest be 17  ),they got flow from here to Timbuktu.They call their music (2-5-flow) ,they specialize in hip hop<am biased like that > , but have recently began branching out into different genres ranging from House/Electro, to R&B.

There is this one track called beat box by young kass,colli bop,prospekt that just killed it for me<download here>,there is this line where they say they off to get that money like a serogate mum that got me on my feet ,not to mention the dope beats..

You can check out their <website here>

You can download some of their <tracks here>

 
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Posted by on July 6, 2011 in 254, music, weekend

 

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