Monthly Archives: April 2013

Uhuru Kenyatta’s Free Laptop Programme- a techies perspective

So Yesterday <16th April 2013>  I watched as the President iterated that the free laptop programme he promised is still on, to be precise this is what he had to say “6:09 pm Uhuru: My government will deliver on its promise of free laptops for our children starting next year. Our vision is to have laptops availed in future to be assembled locally”. Two things struck me …His time line(next year) and his ambition to have them locally assembled in future. But before I look into either one of his points let me first shed some light into one already existing laptops for primary schools  program.

In Rwanda the supplier  was One Laptop Per Child (OLPC), an American charity linked to  MIT,but this process was plagued with controversy. I will only highlight the techie bits and stay clear of any politics here, the first controversy was when Intel opted out of the program,meaning this computers where to run on another chip-set  The second and the one I was very keen on was the Operating system the machines were running on,the war raged between Open source and Windows based XP. But despite this the computers were indeed supplied later on; the computer was  dubbed the XO laptop and saw Rwanda get 120,000 units,Ghana 10,000,Sierra Leone 5,000.  Read more here>>>

Now coming back to Kenya and looking back at what the president said.The first point was the timeline. The government should indeed not deploy this computers with any rush. I would suggest a whole year before they are made available to any classroom..reason? Well lets face it majority of teachers who will end up using this devices to administer learning to kids have limited computer training. I mean I would imagine the scenario if a teacher in say Nyeri or Siaya just got handed a bunch of devices and told to use in teaching, it would be no easy feat. Second the actual devices themselves….If we choose indeed to administer laptops what Operating system will they run on?

There are only two options here. Windows or and Open Source platform eg Linux. Visiting the OLPC the issue was between exclusive use of open source software for the project  and those in favor made suggestions supporting a move towards adding Windows XP which Microsoft was in the process of porting over to the XO hardware. Microsoft’s Windows XP, however, was not seen by some as a sustainable operating system. Microsoft announced on May 16, 2008, that they had let them have Windows XP for $3 per computer. It would be offered as an option on XO-1 laptops and possibly be able to dual boot alongside Linux. However, no significant deployments elected to purchase Windows licenses.

Assuming this laptops are to indeed run on Windows at $3 per windows licence and assume the first phase sees 500,000 issued. That would mean Microsoft would charge $1,500,000  (120,000,000 KSH).  And since the government aspires to buy  5.86 million computers for kids that would translate to approximately $17,600,000 (1.4 Billion KSH) Just for the OS.The other scenario would be to use a free variant of Linux…and do away with this cost.And assuming that the computers are not going to run on an Intel based chip-set (to reduce cost per unit) then for the performance to be optimal Linux would make more sense. Then going ahead and looking at his suggestion that the computers get manufactured locally it would mean we buy the parts from a cheap source eg. China ship them to Kenya assemble them on an alternate chip-set and a Linux Variant and hand them over to the kids.

But the west would fight this with all their might…..not because they are losing out $17,600,000 , that’s pocket change, but because of a simple mathematical term called extrapolation. If a kid grows up using Linux since class 1 what are the odds that when he/she turns 20 and wants to buy their own computer they will choose Microsoft? This will mean slowly by slowly Microsoft will fade out of Kenya as the OS of choice would be Linux. Asia is a living example of these, kids grew up using Linux and Microsoft is not as big there as it was back in the day.Intel would also loose a large market presence in the country. So if Uhuru were to opt for this then he would be in turn be giving the west a big middle finger.But there would be the issue of Internet connection on these laptops

The other option would be to provide a solar powered tablet instead of a laptop. A simple Android based Kenyan assembled tablet would cost around $30 and would represent the least-expensive solution for bringing computing and, more importantly, internet connectivity, to students in Kenya, tablets of this kind can access data networks using the GPRS  where 3G or 3.75 G is unavailable.With the App bubble at its peak devs would have a fun day driving local online and offline based content for these devises. Data providers e.g Safaricom, Zain,Orange ,YU would see data revenues go up also translating to more Revenue for KRA to take home and job creation.


Posted by on April 17, 2013 in 254, code, JKUAT, kenyan clones, legal issues, true stories


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That which they call “The FriendZone”

There are three things I have little knowledge over these days….the first being this awful Nairobi weather , the second being chics and the third….well there is no third really. Jana proved me right on the rain part…having had to jav home at some un Godly hours….I fikad kwa hao Drenched…..soaking  from head to toe only to find that KPLC had chosen jana off all the days to switch of the mains…I had to endure 45 minutes of darkness before the lights were back and I could at-least enjoy the comforts of modern technology *read shower,charged phone*


Anyhu…..back to the matter at hand….the second one got proved today…I am an avid fan of Japanese Anime and Manga (aren’t all geeks really) and there is this one chic called Yuriko Shinonome who really amazes me, well any Guy who has watched  Eiken Manga will tell you that Yuriko can get it (except for the fact that she has an A cup**silicone baba**). She not only openly confesses that she likes Densuke but also constantly makes amorous advances towards him,hakuna cha friendzone na huyu dame.More here>>> Haya sasa najua kuna watu wako nje…so let me direct them back. …My problem is that the average Kenyan mama will never be like Yuriko (Atleast the ones I have met).

“Sasa Jaymo si basi utu explainie”..Gladly….well my qualm with chics is a purgatory that they created called the friendzone….I use purgatory here since the unlucky recipients have no Idea whether they are in heaven (read getting some 24/7) or Hell ( napenda vazelin). As defined by Urban Dictionary, the Friend Zone is: “What you attain after you fail to impress a woman you’re attracted to. Usually initiated by the woman saying, ‘You’re such a good friend.’ Usually associated with long days of suffering and watching your love interest hop from one bad relationship to another.”

The reason the friend zone pisses me is women are apparently under no obligation to return romantic feelings for a man and the existence of a “friend zone” that they themselves created proves this. A man claiming to be “friend zoned” by a girl suggests that the only reason he was nice to her in the first place was for the potential of sex — and once she makes it clear that she isn’t interested in having sex with him, he gets the second place trophy of her dumb friendship.

Guys who are friend zoned are often the jamaas who think that if they had tried harder they could have won her over. These men view women as pretty sparkly prizes with vaginas forgetting that they can win ‘one of their own ‘  if they are just patient and nice enough and avoid the friend zone. Becoming friends with a girl is what men get after they fail at getting a little bit of something something (read ngwati). It’s their consolation prize. Yaani wewe ni second best.

It’s always the Nice Guys getting friend zoned. A Nice Guy would argue that he gets friend zoned because all women want are men who treat mama’s like shit,ohh sijui msee ana six pack na ni mtall. How many times have you heard a guy say that women only date “bad boys” and he’s single sijui because no woman appreciates how god damn NICE he is? “Mimi ni chali mpoa ni vile madame hawajuangi”  I wish I had a thao for every time I heard that. Actually I wish I had a 1 acrer piece of land  for every time av heard jamaas say something like that  nikiwa karibu because if I’m going to get rich from Bull shit I might as well get Uhuru Kenyatta rich.

This also suggests that there are only two types of men out there: nice guys and assholes. Of course, these Nice Guys aren’t nice at all! They’re just incredibly entitled: a Nice Guy thinks if he puts in the effort to be friends and listens to a girl talk about her relationships, then she owes him sex. If she doesn’t want to have sex with him, she’s a bitch. If he never talks to her about how he feels or she rejects him, he was Friend Zoned. There is no situation where the woman isn’t a shitty person for not wanting to sleep with him.

So ladies and Gentlemen that’s why I never use the term friend zone, I prefer to use the term “benched” Instead of Friend Zoned. Just like a soccer player…si ati hajaiva game…ni simply that kuna msee mwingine anaweza endelea kwenye he was…au ameanza kuchoka.

And as such I end this blog with the words “I think Jaymo just got benched today morning”


Posted by on April 16, 2013 in Uncategorized


Type of Code Clients I have met

So someone accused me of only writing about code this and code that, nimaka unaweza peleka Code Nakumatt upatiwe shopping au Butchery ya Kamau akukatie ka Nyama Nusu…of course not, there has to  be business involved or in the words of Uhuru Kenyatta, willing buyer willing seller…so today I will just talk a little bit about the two types of willing buyers I know/ have had the experience of working for.

I have been taught by time and of course by more seasoned business men to divide clients into two broad yet true categories: Clande/chips funga and Girlfriend/wifey

1.Clande/chips Client.


The name speaks for itself, this type is the tap and go…No strings attached no Numbers no natsing. Usually this is my best type of client since everyone goes home happy. A clande Client knows point blank what they want, and how they want it. They are straight forward, utapatiwa spec doc yako,depo na time line. Utafanya Kazi, ukimaliza UAT kiasi. bass…the story ends there final Installment paid and you both go home happy. In the event hamskizani, you both have the luxury of walking away since you just met and nothing has been invested yet in between the two of you.

The Good thing about this type of client is just like a clande kwa bar uko guaranteed not to sleep hungry . Its cash at hand so you are happy,your landlord is happy and even the real Clandes are happy. Moving along

2.Girlfriend/wifey Client

Sasa huyu ni ule wa long term…yaani in other words ata sio Strings attached ni more like ropes.This is the worst client ever. Let me explain using the analogy of a real world Girlfriend. You meet a hot mama, someone you think is a keeper…unaanza courtship. if you take that leap of faith you should know you will be in it for the long haul,during which anaweza amua hakuvunjii (utaka nja baba)…the only thing you get are hugs and smonches…you will have to be there for her 24/7(kama customer care)..handling all her Hormonal maneno and stuff……you get the picture.

Back to the client, you meet a big client <usually some corporate or Gov deal> una strike ka deal nao ,depo labda 30% unapatiwa kazi inaanza….1 month in system changes zimeanza,sijui integration na system flani wanatumia,2 month HR wanataka module yao…una call meeting…”hii haikuwa kwa spec doc…bla bla bla” wanakuangalia “How much more will it cost us” una peana figure…na ju uko na Njaa 20% unapewa,una endelea na code…3 months later huna rent,dame yako ana kuagalianga asubuhi ana skia Nausea ju huna any..zako ni “Ngoja niko karibu kulipwa” …they drag payment…na the day they actually give you your loot ni Friday Jioni na ni cheque ita take 3 days ku mature kwa hivyo tuseme next week Thursday ndo utakuwa monied. DAFAQ

All the while hiyo monday next wana kuambia you drive to their place to sort some stuff out, nikama walikupatia fuel card  ya kutumia. The Girlfriend client will also catch feelings if there is a bug “aki na vile tume kulipa vipoa..” This are the clients who will ask for refunds/sue you/want you in the office every week etc.

Any who those are my two categories of clients. Hope one of you out there can relate.

In other news if you haven’t yet tried PesaBox here is the link>>, and here is a brief Wiki entry of how it works/what it does.


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Posted by on April 5, 2013 in code, hack, Humour


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