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Category Archives: INTERNSHIP

I thought of quitting Code

Strange title don’t you think, well its true I did contemplate quitting my most revered calling ..coding. But before I tell you what happened let me first discuss why I got pissed. coding is an art and a science. Its writing lines after lines of code and producing something someone can use on a day to day basis. I remember one time my niece asked me what I do for a living and it was really hard explaining  to her what coding is all about, but the little darling already had a theory of what I do “Uncle si unaandikanga kwa blackboard ya white siku mzima” She calls both my physical white board and my IDEs Blackboard za white….then again she is just 4 years. Any who that’s me digressing…

Kenya is a country of hype, don’t believe me look at how Susan wa Tujuane became a house hold name,Look at Dida… Kenya is just one awesome country where trends are just over-hyped  Let me steer to my side. Code and In general the IT boom. I  have had people in the country and the few other African countries I have been blessed to go to call Kenya a great tech scene. The silicon sijui savanah au what ever they call it. I once had a Tanzanian friend tell me  how they believe Kenya is wired,things are run by computers. I looked at him and was amazed..Is this the same Kenya I know. But here is what really happens, ordinary Muggles will watch the 7pm or 9pm news.. They will see images of ICT in Kenya  some snapshot of guys in IHUB or Nailab, some local apps that claim to change the world will be show cased. Then Bitange Ndemo will talk about a new fiber landing on the coast..And bassss…you will feel all snuggly inside and lie, yes lie to your self that Kenya tume fika…But wait I have the true test of gauging the level of tume fika.

With the exception of MPESA what other Kenyan brewed tech product   do you use? Yes am talking to you my dear reader? You will wake up in the morning watch DSTV CNN muhimu, check your mail GMAIL muhimu, drive/jav to work chat up your pal/chic/clande/chippo on WhatsApp, WHATSAPP muhimu…get to work Microsoft ndo zako,boss akitoka/kazi ikireduce Youtube,Facebook,Twitter Muhimu..Skype Kiasi. Go for Lunch uko na mullah so you eating something fancy you check in on FourSquare and Instagram the food to a pal. Toka hapo back to works Uko sleepy kiasi so you chuk out your headphones and listen to music on your Galaxy something MXplayer or something like that. 5 ikifika hujui kama traffic ni mbaya WAZE ita help, tells you how the traffic is..On your way home you will be on some social Media/listening to music on a foreign made  app. And Morrow you will do it all again… Yet you will say that the Kneyan tech scene has matured and you think Zuckerberg should open an African HQ along Ngong RD as we wait for Konza ijengwe. Amen Bratha Amen.You know Not what you say

The sad truth is the only thing that has grown in Kenya as a resort of said tech boom is Safaricom’s data Revenues and Other ISPs in that matter. “Sasa Jaymo Unasema hii Yote ndo?”  Let me elaborate… I hate tech competitions… Ile roho safi Hackathons za kupeana prizes I never go…Sio Ku participate . Never!! Why? simple…You give a winner 1mill coz app yake ni briliant and It ends there. Safaricom AppSTAR the last event I can remember had winners…Name one product from said venture that is in use by ANY KENYAN CURRENTLY. I waited for them to release them to the market for me and other Kenyans to use but wapi?? Before that kulikuwa na AAC winners announced prizes announced but bilaz….inaishia hapo….all the while Kenyans will be shown this on media,ma picha za IHUB na Bitange ndemo…we will say tume fika…some kid will now apply to do computer Science to become Mnoma kama  Mr/MS/Miss so and so who won 10,000 USD. Epic fail

But wait all is not lost, Am not quitting code..My landlord still needs his rent on time. In spite of all this bullshit kuna a ray of hope….In the name of PivotEast…na sijalipwa ku blog hii so don’t say sijui nini. Pivot is the real deal, All the solutions they award turn out as products that people use. Pivot sio place ya kupeleka App yako ya ufala ndo upatiwe pesa ya kupeleka dame yako lunch place fancy.. Its the real thing, real Coders/Devs/Code Jammers/Hackers who develop things that can grow. The first thing msee atakuuliza is how  many clients do you have and whats your revenue model..sio how does it pass data au why did you use NGINX instead of Apache. In my opinion Pivot is what will drive the tech scene we all dream of sio hackathon sijui ya madame pekee, sijui ya UoN pekee kuandaika ma app za ku show map nikama Google Maps has been cancelled.

And this year Pivot has gone a step further:

  • Participating startups must be domiciled in Uganda, Kenya, Tanzania, Rwanda, Ethiopia, South Sudan, Somalia or DR Congo
  • Entries to the competition will be considered to be startups as per the universal definition of a “startup”* or a startup company (*as done below)
  • Participating startups must indicate details of at least two members of their team in their application profile
  • Companies that reached final 25 lists of Pivot 25 in 2011 or Pivot East 2012 may not compete with products/services previously submitted for the competition, the judging panel will have discretion to disqualify entries in breach of this requirement.
  • Competitors selected to the final 25 list must have set up a legal entity (business name, limited company etc) for their business by 15th May 2013. Competitors with legal entities already set up will have an added advantage at all judging stages.

So atleast am not quitting code coz I still have a shot at making something that you as my reader may use in your day to day life. Haya nimemalizia hapo. Let me finish tweaking code ya PesaBox kiasi nimeskia kuna vile nafaa ka modification kiasi.

 
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Posted by on March 19, 2013 in Humour, INTERNSHIP

 

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Hacking WI-FI ya JKUAT.

I get scared at times….not of cliche things like of the dark or of being shot by the cops because I come from one of those neighborhoods.What scares me most is cyber attack….This is going to be a tech post so if you  not into that kind of thing please click here>>>>

That being said let me  dive head fist into the contents.I am a wi-fi junkie… I spend more time online than I do with my girlfriend,Wi-fi has been good to me(when its not that time of the month when it gets all hormonal)…So why am I afraid???

Well lets just take it from the top…I share an access point with some 100 or so guys at peak and 4-5 at off peak,the commonest site visited is Facebook, YouTube and probably Yahoo(I didn’t mention Google coz it goes without say).Peak time is usually from 7-10Pm and off peak ranges from there..The wi-fi network is protected with a  WPA2  security pass and AES encryption format(not TKIP)..The network is behind a proxy server that runs SQUID..and what do we all know about squid??? Squid sacks at HTTPS (ad rather go for an ISA server but then again am not JKUAT,i only go to school there)

Sasa Jaymo ju umetuambia hii yote,how does an attack occur?.kwanza this is purely for educational  purposes.one of  the easiest attacks is using a lilttle known tool called firesheep.Ok firesheep is fa***** easy to use,.Primarily coz its not a stand alone software rather a firefox addon…With this nifty addon you can do a tonne of things to rookie web users…wanna hear like what?

Supposing student x logs on to an acess point say RUNDA wireless connection.The DHCP awards him a renewable 1 hour lease on an IP(all without him knowing) and he establishes an Internet connection.He is just from chatting with this fresha chic who gave him her Facebook handle,so student X wants to snoop…He launches his Mozilla and types the URL,seconds later the login page appears,he logs in and continues doing his thing…pretty standard right???? Well across the yard Hacker X launches his Firesheep and begins this hack..he notices Student X is logged onto Facebook via HTTP instead of HTTPS..and decides to steal his session…does kidogo of this and that….minutes  later he has the exact facebook session as student X..while he is at it he even decides to go through this nygas Inboxes to see if he is still dating that gorgeous chic of his…If thats not scary enough,he goes to Facebook settings,changes the backend Email adress and Facebook password..logs out and kicks Student X out of his own fa**** facebook page….awsome.

How is this being done…session Hijacking…What all WI-FI networks have in common is that people will acess them to browse(daaaaaa) and when they do some one can easily steal unencrypted cookie sessions.session hijacking is the exploitation of a valid computer session—sometimes also called a session key—to gain unauthorized access to information or services in a computer system. In particular, it is used to refer to the theft of a magic cookie used to authenticate a user to a remote server(SQUID in my case)

Hiyo ni moja..next bucket-brigade attack…aka man-in-the-middle-attack.This is what good old wikipedia has to say about bucket bridge attack. This is an attack where the attacker makes independent connections with the victims and relays messages between them, making them believe that they are talking directly to each other over a private connection, when in fact the entire conversation is controlled by the attacker. The attacker must be able to intercept all messages going between the two victims and inject new ones, which is straightforward in many circumstances (for example, an attacker within reception range of an unencrypted      Wi-Fi wireless access point, can insert himself as a man-in-the-middle).

And since am in a good mood today am going to give you a proff of concept that I actually tried out….First Am usually working on a linux distro called Bactrack….(sorry windows slaves,windows cant hack..f*** what you see in the movies).

So open up a shell and get the tools you want primarily we are going to be doing  arpspoof poisoning and so we need to get driftnet and dsniff.

So on bash run:-sudo apt-get install driftnet dsniff. next we enable packetforwading…echo 1>  /proc/sys/net/ipv4/ip_foward   then cat /proc/sys/net/ipv4/ip_foward  this is to allow the traffic on the network to flow via your machine…then we begin the arpspoff poisoning

sudo arpspoof -t <your ip> <router ip>  split your screen and do the reverse sudo arpspoof -t <router ip> <your ip> . And that’s it,you are primarily the man in the middle here.Now you can have fun  with this attack…

an easy one is:

 msgsnarf -i etho, where etho is the name of the network interface..you can listen to all the instant message services running,am talking MSN,gtalk…any instant messanger.so you can watch someone chatting.

urlsnarf -i -etho, Listens to port 8080,80,3128,if you in JKUAT and you use wi-fi then you must know what port 3128 is.This one obviously listens to URL that are being sent.

If you are intersted in password then we can go back to dsniff and do that

sudo dsniff -i eth0, this will listen to any password being sent.

Now if you want to see what Student X is viewing online,kama picha hivi then we switch back to driftnet

sudo drifnet -i -eth0,  this will give you a visualization of activity on the network

Bassss thats why i get afraid…but no biggie…In my next post i will tell you how to protect yourself from and of the above attacks….wacha nikasomee CAT ya fluidmechanics

 
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Posted by on September 28, 2011 in hack, INTERNSHIP, JKUAT, true stories

 

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Google Interview:

Before we go ahead,this is not a post about the Infamous Google interview,neither is it about me being called for one,rather its about the latest craze…applying for an x or y position at Google.

Its got techies shitting in their pants”umeskia flani wa flani ameitwa interview na Google”,Then you start developing a fever or a mild rash…reality hits you that you are still stuck in your shitty job,doing crap you don’t even like for little or no pay at all,while flani wa flani may end up at Google….

My take on the whole thing:Its a load of boo-lox,seriously plain old Boo-lox

“Jaymo wacha machungu,sasa ju hujawai itwa ata moja ndo unakuwa sour grape?” quite the contray….allow me to expound:

Here is what happens most of the time:You fall in love with computers at a  young age,along the way you enroll to some college/campus and take up a certain field in computing…first semester you ace your C exams,uv even coded a program that allows tweeps to pay theoretically check their bank account balance<lame>

2nd year hapo you can read source code like you are  deciphering Egyptian hieroglyphics,you develop a following in college

“Waaa, hujaskia vile flani wa flani ameiva code,naskia mpaka anataka kutoa Linux Distro yake” <as if>….You are good,exam zote una ace…kidogo ufanywe rep wa comp lab <some even do>ju half the time kama you are not at some hot spot in colle sourcing for wi-fi then uko huko,ka ethernet

Data structures and algorithms,uli ace mbaya,mpaka ma lecturer wana shuku una copy ju ulipata *cram* kila kitu…transcript ina Alphabet moja A….toka 1st year mpaka saa hii.

Kidogo kidogo una anza kuenda *ihub,una kuwa mabeste na macoder,unaskia ma idea zao,you take a glance at this and that source code,unafunzwa ku code behind an API<na unajiskia Linus trovalds flani> some times if you are lucky the ask you something,una rudi home ume steady ju vile umebambika.

Next sem,wasee hawawezi kushow any,wewe ndo kusema…On most nights you get laid ka twice hivi,ma groupie wako ni wengi excess…ukienda mess unaona wasee waki point

“Ni ule msee nilikuwa nakushow,ule coder mwendaaa”…

Ka 4th year project una ace,then along the road someone tells you about Google…kidogo unjoti….Una froth kiasi una anza kuona ma halusinations za wewe na Larry Page mkikunywa exotic coffee pamoja,discussing the next big project ya Google.

Mara hiyo hiyo,ka CV kanaundwa,kana uploadiwa kwa repository yao…fingers crossed una omba waku call.

Couple of days,your ka phone rings….weird number…you pick…its Google…they ask one or two things,thank you for your interest,and an Interview date is set….

Nyga,hushikiki..unaenda home<ata  hupandi mat,leo ni cab>,unashow significant other(s) wako…mpaka una mangana dry<kwani ata ukipata/peana ball Google itakuwa ina ku pay vipoa,no biggie>…una download tu ebooks twako,algorithms una anza…..heap-sort, merge-sort, Dijkstra’s Algorithm, TSP, Graphs etc, una polish up.

Una polish languages,ka C,C++,ka python,java….uko set…..siku ina fika,simu ina lia,una do your thing….buda yaani una spit code ka holy scripture….Uko sure uko ndani….

A couple of days later,Interview 2,sasa ni ku fyam,unaset up Google docs,una ambiwa u code……!!!!!!!Lights out for you Nyga…the moment of reconing…HUWEZI DO SHYT….kumbe uv been a dud,a copy paster,a script Kiddie..just keyboarding……Google can smell fake a mile away….

Unarudi home…izaa buda,dame wako haja Roll this month,uko facked,utalea mtoto,na Google haitakusaidia <labda kuchagua jina>

Naskia umehamia bing,G just facked you up.

That’s why if I get anyone else telling me to apply,amo stab someone….dont get me wrong am not throwing subliminal blows at anyone…Its just how it happens,najua kuna watu zaidi 7 wameapply and failed to get in…and they all exhibit the above traits<save for the kumangana dry>Hiyo ni chuki tu yangu

If you ask me,kwanza anzia mahali,get experience in a certain field,create a niche for your self,usijisell na transcripts..let your work<proofs of concept> sell you,Code vismart kwanza…

It’s one thing to be able to code to an API or install an OS from a CD. But, to really understand, on a system level, everything that’s happening in the background to make all the “magic” possible is a different level altogether.Its one thing to code on your own for nearly a month on a project you think will get you that break,but its another thing to code under the pressure of deadlines,coding where uki mess una fack up watu wengi

Uki code vibaya,alafu I go online and serch for my usual exotic asian porn,alafu iniletee Midget porn,huoni hapo umeni screw???To avoide that learn kwanza,do the dirty work/code…I said code….si read and cram code…

Ndo enyewe the next time its Google looking for you and not vive varsa

If i offended any readers,izaa someone had to say it…if una ball ya msee alikushow ameitwa interview Google,lea…lakini mwambie a re strategise…

 
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Posted by on August 4, 2011 in 254, code, INTERNSHIP, Reflections, true stories

 

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JKUAT graduation

So the good people at JKUAT  class of 2010/2011 will be graduating tommorow,I know thats not exactly breaking news to many of you,but it does warrant a blog post.A blog post to big up all the tweeps av grown fond of,tweeps who i have gotten drunk with,passed out with and even mwaorad with.I  will be a bit nostaligc so bear with me:

I will miss Shiro,Nelz and ka smalz the 3 adorable friends of mine.

nelz,shiro,ka smallz

The memories we have forged will never be forgoten(zingine ziliacha scar) .In between doing shots kwa stage,u guys doing shots bila lime alafu mna act like nothing happened. Kwenda rave zingine random za wednesday night,au monday evening when everyone else is in school.To funny events like the noodles fiasco…how can i forget you guys being fukuzwad by janitors usiku,crushing parties za wasee wa cu without an invite,alafu tuko maji ingine crazy.

To weird things like Bangara, and the long walk in pursuit,the cwazy house parties,drinking stuff i cant even post on my blog.

Going to mombasa like its nothing big

Remember “oya nelz si tudunde coast saa hii”,and its 9pm in the nyt…man you chics was cwazy,ill miss that.

Another group of tweeps i will miss is nesh,banda,brown,jack…aka the guys who drink and the guy who doesn’t

Where do i begin,Nesh the guy with the tatoos, in between you and marto dissing guys without tats ati”wale hawana tatoo watoke hapa”you getting drunk on sundays<i never got that> to pams on weekends,dude you rocked that shyt.

Banda,the 3 pointers on the court was lethal like an arsenic injection,you and jack worked majic on that court

Brown:dude your final year project was dope,ukinyimwa first class tuna tafuta omutata a start maandamano jkuat..

Next:drum rolls please……solo

Nyga where do i begin with you,You the only guy i know alive who drunk for 1WEEK STRAIGHT. Mazee kukata maji abijan sice 2008,pams with you brother talking shyt we couldnt get<umo lingo>,kwenda mess ukiwa first na bado una hijack line….dude enyewe ilikuwa tyt .

Lazima Nyamira<local bar> ataskia loss of revenue ju ya absence yako.

Yes am biased like that am going to miss guys wa mathematics and comp science the most coz basically that was the crew….

Nelz and shi,you know amo hit u up on twitter every morning as is custom…

Lakini kama hujatajwa hapa,usiseme ati huyo jama jaymo ana ni hate siku hizi.na vile alikuwa anashindwa kulipa fare namsort…mob lovings to everyone….

Back to the server room

 
 

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Someone finally listened.

You may/may not remember a blog post i wrote a couple of months ago about my beef with the Kenyan campo system,if not click here>>>.Any who after screaming my lungs out to anyone who would offer an ear, arguing with @savvykenya about proxy servers and generally sending smoke signals so that the folks at JKUAT could get a hint,I finally found some one who shared the same school of thot with me,a certain chairman of department at JKUAT,ok maybe not all but what really matters is that he listened,he was impressed with this snippet from this blog:

………… With this in mind what do i have to say:change the whole system..do a bottom to top overhaul…change the course content,run expos,create Incubation labs..take JKUAT for example..create jkuatlab..a place for students to develop software,mobile apps,internet apps.Get a mentor ship program..give incentives(you will be surprised how something as little as 20k will get guys coding)Reward effort.stop rewarding guys who cram course content with first class honors,and lowers to guys who had more prowess in practical aspects of CS but never got a practical exam given to them…yet they can code even a whole operating system given the opportunity.…………….

So after an almost 3 hour long chat on this and that  i was given the opportunity to put my idea in writing and submit it to him by today(July 26th 2011).No promises of my proposal being adopted into the system  were made but he was really impressed.

So I  got all creative,took a shot of Viceroy and started writing,I have an Idea(among others) of a coding competition,a pitting of the titans if you may,coding for web 2.0,mobile apps and N-tier application  design…the ultimate goal,adoption by the school of well crafted apps,and to make things juicier a cash reward for the best projects.

The coding would keenly be followed by mentors(of their own choosing) who would advice the participants through out  the said coding period(1 month). But the mentors themselves would not be actually involved in the actual coding,so kama una thani utaleta iddsalim,iza bro.

To actualize this the school would have to avail resources (internet access,books ) and the actual prize money(si thani ni mita moja so punguza nyege).The judging would commence after the said one month has elapsed and the ultimate winners rewarded.

That being said,i know this is not the best idea out there but this is what i currently have in mind to foster tech development,so dear readers,fellow jkuat students,jkuat alumni,techies and what not please feel free to offer ideas that would foster thinkers,developers and innovators in the IT field,Instaed of guys who just waste bandwidth downloading midget porn.

I will post the proposal Tomorrow officially on my paste bin <here>

Tafakari hayo.

 
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Posted by on July 26, 2011 in 254, INTERNSHIP, true stories, twitter, weekend

 

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What I want #truethots

. I  had a close someone ask me “Jaymo,na wewe ju tumejuana na wewe miaka hiyo yote na unashindanga story za comps,what do you want in life,sijawai jua?”.This got  me thinking,and yall know anything that raises my pulse rate is was worth tweeting or blogging about

what do I want: I want to develop for Android,mimi ata mkiniambia Symbian oooh,s60 oooh,sijali,Android just does it for me,Najua techies will read this and hit me with statistics about how symbian be the ishh…to which i will reply with Kenyan Demographics about android growth<hence target market>.I ditched Statistics as my Math Major in campo but it doenst take MGF , CDF or test of Hypothesis to know that’s where to head.Hence I have amuad my final year project will be an Android app. code named =>Tafuta<=

Am a man of modesty and realism marrying to give birth to aka jaymo,hence cash isn’t on my check list.Not coz i got a huge trust fund stacked away in some Cayman Island account but because the way to really learn something is to do it practically,and when something has to be done practically it requires mulla.

Enter free services,unless you got connect from here to silicon Valley am betting you can’t have it all,you cant have access to an OTA server at safaricom,an ISA server at campo,code snippets from Google labs..so how do you get a piece of the action..for me this is how:

“Jaymo,cooperative Bank ina install SBS, mpya,so tunaenda ku upgrade network yao,unaona aje,siukuje!!!” obvoiusly half of yall would be out the door by the end of the conversation,here is the catch “Na by the way jaymo hatukulipi,utatu help for free”….hapo ndipo passion ina kick in..its not every day you get a sneak peak into high level clearance areas,then again hawa wasee wanalipwa major chedda na hawakulipi…but Jaymo will be there,atakama i have to take a camel ride,i will be there to learn…mlipe, msilipe.

I hear the critics talking,”Jaymo hiyo ni ufala,utatumiwa the udumpiwe”.True it happened to a pal of mine once,nyga used to work for company X <name withheld>,got excellent exposure,his was accounting,till the next best thing came along,he was prematurely retired,only thing to show for working there was a recommendation letter-or so we thought- six months later,he was still broke,not a jobo in sight..but Karma has its way..through a cruel twist of fate his ex boss died<ule wa company X>,and he got the call to replace him,having been his under study..couple of months later we were indulging in frothy delight on his tab.

I know if i fukuza that chedda now,this is what i will be rocking nikienda rave Langata,froth on me and what not

But cash brings along with it some sense of comfort,relaxation if you may,and that results into laziness,I will  be stuck with the same skill set,while newbies will be uping there game at my expense..couple of years later  jaymo will be rendered redundant na ntarudi kuishi na mum..so free work it is till i make my niche in whatever field i choose.

While we at what I want:I wouldn’t mind me a freaky chic,with curly black  hair and a tattoo that reads ‘rebel without a cause’ on her  boob  and who loves to stay in bed all day with me,doing the nasty 🙂 🙂  nasty :-). but i guess that can wait

May the force be with you,nimerudi server room.

 
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Posted by on July 12, 2011 in INTERNSHIP, Reflections, true stories

 

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@LEWA marathon

So the boss at work is trying to create conversation with me,”sato you guy, you were wasted yaani”

I dread this social banter with the guy buttering my bread, so in retort I mumble “what happened in lewa stayed in lewa “He laughs it away then drops some humor “except syphilis, that shyt will follow you home”. We laugh it off and mind our business

Yes ladies and gentlemen, I had a great weekend, far away from civilization, far from the flashing lights…I was at the Lewa marathon evening bash….Now  for those of you who might not have been in the loop, here is what  the lewa marathon is all about

Apparently prince William and the wifey stayed here right before they got hitched, William having proposed to her, at the slopes of mount Kenya, that’s not all that makes Lewa so magical, it’s the only marathon I know where guys run side by side with the animals, yes  folks there are no physical barriers separating the runners from the wildlife.

So Friday evening the guys at work @Mary @ Mashaa  @Nora came over to my workstation ,evidently psyched” you guy, si we go to lewa kesho, the company is footing the bills.”Truth be told I was already going,but I was going with the guys at Toyota Catalogue @rkoech,but the idea of not spending a dime was enticing ,”Kampuni inalipa??then am down with it”

So sato around 12pm we all hooked up in tao,the chicks looking sexy as ever @Mary @Betty the dudes already drunk.I remembered a couple of years ago Raymond Chepkwony blogged about how tusker should sponser the marathon coz at the end of the day guys still get drunk,why not make some money off it,any who  we drive off to lewa,crack a four pack of tusker and we off…..

Nanyuki was our fast stop; I love Nanyuki, best town after Nairobi and Mombasa for me, one of the only towns  this side of the equator where you can go with a million bucks and end up broke after raving and indulging in one to many extra curricula affairs.The meat at this place is equally great…and the cheap tusker from AFCO (85 bob) just seals the deal. So frothy delight and nyama later you can guess what happened next…we was high as fack, I mean ile high mpaka tukasahau kwenye tunaenda…(15 bottles o tusker will do that to you).My boy from the Army @wig_z thought we should just rave at Nanyuki and call it a weekend but we weren’t driving all this way just to rave in nanyuki

We somehow managed to drive off to Lewa some minutes past 6,I mean hakukuwa na haraka,its not like we were running or anything.The chics at the back were screaming…I guess alcohol + estrogen=heightened emotion.I dozed of next thing I remember “nyga amka,wamekataa ku allow wasee ndani”

It didn’t hit me there and then,I was still recovering from the effects of the booze,I could smell  samosas in the car,that is what I was more concerned with right now…then It sunk in and I amkad”ati ,hakuna kuingia”…I alighted to,my utter shock there was a line of cars from here to Timbuktu, and the line wasn’t easing,far from it,ilikuwa inarefuka.

waiting outside the gate.

We walked towards the gate,crowd behind, ongeada with the gate jamaa.Dude was the rudest nyga I eva met

”unafikiria watu wanaingianga lewa ovyo ovyo saa zile wanataka?Sonko amesema hakuna kuingia unless wewe ni official!”

Guys started hauling insults,some Indian guys were dishing theirs in Gujarati.Some chic was trying to seduce her way in…”mschana ebu niondokee kabla nikuje hapo”

I was bored,took my phone out decided to tweet @bcollymore cc @lewaconservacy. None of them replied(must have been offline or something)

Back to the  car, poped the trunk, took out a six pack of Heineken(courtesy of @mashaa) and decided to drown my  misery in booze..Betty joined me(I luv me a chic who can handle her booze) Mary was bongaing with some guys.Enoch was trying to pull diplomacy at the gate(evidently not working)

@mary and @betty

Then I remembered @iddsalim was from Isiolo so I decided to tweet him, he replied a couple of minutes later(probably coding)The management at Lewa must have felt we were trying to steal the rhinos or antelopes coz a few minutes later the pow pow were here.

‘’Kila mtu aingie kwa gari,na mzime hiyo kelele”…try telling that to over a hundred drunk guys blasting music from their cars…so the 5-0 realizing no one was paying much attention,decided to cock their guns ndo tukajua they mean business.I was pissed,drive all this way just to be frozen at the gate.There had to be something we could do.

Luckily Mary has a brother working  at lewa so we were let in(helps to juana in Kenya) much to the anger of the other guys…the ride from the gate was anything but comfortable…the road is basically impassible…the dust unbearable but somehow we managed to fika the campsite bone fire.

The crowd there was unbelievable, the guys at Toyota Catalogue were already there, so were guys from work(basically tulikuwa wa mwisho kufika) The music was great…Nyamachoma was in plenty…so I found my way to where the Finlay’s guys were…..grabbed a tusker…and called it a rave.

Next thing it was morning, and we were having breakfast at Meru,I was covered in dust top to bottom  but so were 30 something other guys….mtajua aje tulikuwa lewa. After breako tukatoa locks at some joint in Meru Grabbed a couple of Tuskers and drove back home.

So here I am Monday morning, splitting migraine to keep me company, Trying to get work done coz kesho am back to the road again, this time to Nakuru.Lanet to be presise, my lil brother @nelson_n passing out from the military academy. He a 1st lieutenant now, that means crazy drinking kesho…I’ll blog about that on Thursday

Ps. I hear the guys we left at the gate were finally let in around 12am after they vowed not to leave (patience pays au)

 
 

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