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Category Archives: INTERNSHIP

My Beef with Kenyan Campo System.

‘Today am going to blog my heart out’…this are the words i told @martoG and @nora this morning on twitter.am not going to rant about this and that but i will talk about something real,straight up real.

My topic for today is  ICT….why am i blogging about this, well a pal of mine told me something that really hit the spot.He told me  doing what you  like is freedom,liking what you do is happiness.There are two things i totally like,programming and getting high…well you all know about my fits of alcoholic indigence(after shedding light way too many times)…so lets talk about programming,and ICT for that matter.Don’t worry am not dishing out snippets of code(though I wish I could)

import javax.swing.*

This is what i know so far,Kenya has an abundance of brilliance,be it the guy who comes up with ZAWADI 2929 promos,or one of those guys running sms campaigns….to even the most trivial of things like how during the beat(NTV ) they pit two musicians against one another,and ask you to sms the dope one,yet somehow you always loose and its evident your guy is better.Like this one time they had Jay Z and Drake…Jay lost,so i got to texting and it hit me…’jaymo hawa wasee wana do hivi deliberately ndo uskie vizii u text’… i mean that’s brilliance,stealing you mulla right under you.

But do they float ideas of that nature around in campo.Ideas that you can apply i real life to earn you chedda should you kosa a white collar job at Google…hells no,the only thing computer wise that guys leave campo having mastered is:

1.)How to download  movies.I swear i have this pal(not mentioning names) who can hook  you up with any series,movie,bootlegged software as soon as yesterday.Guys in campo know torrentz like their mamas name,mediafire is like breakfast,mega upload dinner.

Dont get it twisted  unless you are selling the movies(piracy which will land your ass in jail) then you just bullshitting,wasting internet resources.

2.)Web proxies, ‘aiii mazee wameblock facebook’ does this sound familiar,then some guy gets an Eureka moment…’wacha nikushow’…types something on the address bar an hey presto….facebook in all its glory.That is a proxy server.In campo you can get proxy’s for facebook,twitter,youtube…anything

3.)Computer Games,jaymo dont go there….. I have to….am telling you i have another pal,played Gears Of War  for 4 days straight,missed cats and nearly went blind….okay going blind is an exaggeration..but he got blood shot eyes….ata sita bonga.

4.)Software piracy aka Cracking….dude my copy of windows just expired,my office 07 just expired..no problemo,some computer guy will patch it for you,or toy with the registry and viola..full version

Those are 4 of the things any IT,CS,CT ,MAC  guy can pull off without breaking off a sweat.Now once you are  asked to pull off something as trivial as collating a database on a  server ..?????? clueless. Then to make matters worse you chuk you phone and Google away ‘how to collate a database’

Then to make matters worse unazusha ukinyimwa job…”ati naomba serikali itafutie vijana job wenye wametoka campo”Dude like wtf….

Jaymo aint blaming the students in this faculties,am blaming the campo itself,yes jaymo is going to throw subliminal blows at Universities.Av always said my favorite campo is Strathmore…am ironically not  a student there but i have to give credit  where credit is due.Strath offers relevant material to your course,21st century shyt…kuja JKUAT u shangaee…u being taught FORTRAN at third  year…dude you teaching me FORTRAN in 2011!!! and you expect me to be relevant in the work place???And then you shamelessly preaching in class how campo should teach you to create jobs,not look for one.

I remember the first real job i got was at 3mice interactive,the guys there were trying to be little the newbies..so this guy(obviously a bully) walked up to my workstation and was like”jamaa iwant you to implement a Twitter API for a client we are working with…here is the site and other relevant material”I remember felling sorry for this guys we were working with,fine pia mini si ati nilikuwa najua ku create API,but at least i had a rough idea..hao wengine kwanza this dude who was on 2go the  whole day were clueless…do  i blame them,hells no,do i   blame 3mice for thinking we were up to the challenge,hell no either….do i blame the campo HELL YEAH.

coding

If the 3mice dude had asked one of us”naskia Nikita imetokea episode 20 naeza ipata wapi kwa net?”Then hapo angekuwa amazed,not only would he have gotten episode 20,but also a trailer of episode 21 to go along with it.

Now i know may schools of thought are of the opinion that input from the student should out way content delivered..as in pia studeee  ana faa kujisome.. i agree but without someone pointing the right direction what do you expect.

I have great respect for *ihub and mlab…for stratmore school expos,for guys like IddSalim. who fight  for what they want(Mpesa-API)…for guys like Randel at cisco systems.This are the guys who should run mentorship programs at campo,not the guys who cant even do a remote connection to solve a simple tweak error,yet insist on teaching you Java only  to abscorn the class for half the semester(Yes Mr.Felix..you suck at java,i learnt more from e books.)

copyright java &sun microsystems

With this in mind what do i have to say:change the whole system..do a bottom to top overhaul…change the course content,run expos,create Incubation labs..take JKUAT for example..create jkuatlab..a place for students to develop software,mobile apps,internet apps.Get a mentor ship program..give incentives(you will be surprised how something as little as 20k will get guys coding)Reward effort.stop rewarding guys who cram course content with first class honors,and lowers to guys who had more prowess in practical aspects of CS but never got a practical exam given to them…yet they can code even a whole operating system given the opportunity.

Get them to code in a lab with no book,or Google for help,and see how they fair,then reward accordingly.Failure to which campo will only produce guys who can crack IDM or download updates for Anti Virus Software’s

Tech companies in Kenya should stop outsourcing code to India.Companies like Google,Safaricom Equity  bank are working with local guys….this will help foster growth…angalau pia sisi ma programmer tuweze kuhamia Runda 🙂 tafakari hayo….

 
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Posted by on June 15, 2011 in INTERNSHIP, Reflections, true stories

 

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This little blog of mine,am gonna let it shine.

ending campo QR code

classy post title don’t you think,any who jaymo is back,stronger than a 6am erection.And  shyt did i miss yall even spyke09 the critic….mob loving.

So the weekend was fun,save the explosion an all,bumped into a friend early  Monday morning,and no he wasn’t running late or something.Dude was doing the Monday morning  walk of shame buck to his digs.And trust me you do not want to get your walk of shame on a Monday morning,when every one is going to work,thoughtful expressions,and sober minds na wewe sa hizo umetoke Langata.

So we got to chatting,i was feeling sufficiently philanthropic so i offered coffee .Had a couple of minutes to spare any way,so dude was like”aaaai jaymo!! kwani how  early do you wake up,hii programming itakuua….”It was actually minutes to 7am

so what drives me up that early,is it the money????Far from it…anyone who knows a thing or two about programmers will tell you they don’t do it for the money.(you ask zukerburg,linus trovalds or larry page) the  love of the code is grater than that of money.The feeling of watching an algorithm come to life is like getting an orgasm….yeah its that great

I have to be up by 5am,hit the shower,get dressed and out by 6.10am.By 7am am usually at my desk,the thing i love about working here is that i get ‘breakfast’ at work.coffee and biscuits are served …..i switch on my comp(i never leave it on) and hit my 3 favorite blogs before anything else….I credit them as my early morning inspiration:

1.idd salim:

met him at kopokopo at *ihub..loved his work on the Mpesa api,before safaricom shut him down for knowing too much about the workings of their killer app.now i hear  Plus People have already developed the api…liked the way they put the slogan…’one api to rule them all’….just likes lord of the rings.his tag:Kenyan born, bred and hardened Programming professional. Unix (FreeBSD) and Linux (Debian) systems admin, Concepts creator, thinker, Mentor, Motivator, Open-Source evangelist, no-nonsense blogger, IT Security Consultant.

2:*Ihub blog:

ihub

Did i just here you ask what ihub is? you dont have a clue what Mlab is either….and you into a computer related cource?Then here is my advice to you….’dude/dudet you need to get you act together and stop living under a rock’.Any who *ihub is the shyt…its an incubation for techies.This is the only place you can talk about complex algorithms and share code without looking geeky,you try that at JKUAT!! there blog is equally impresive to

mlab_logo

3:Bikozulu:Man shall not live on code alone but on the occasional touch of biko’s  humour an word play…he blogs and also has a column on saturday magazine in the Nation.He the reason i can afford a smile even when shyt just doesnt add up

bikozulu

So after this i check my mail,its always advisable,huwezi jua labda umefutwa kazi na uko hapo ukicode.Then around 7.30 my day starts.

In campo u always here guys ask,how does this apply in real life or hii uta apply aje job….so here is my  advice to any one doing mathematics and computer science or anything related to this.

I’ll begin with the math:You see that calculus you hate,that ODE you skyved  class  or that linear algebra you was fa***g your chic….itakuja ku haunt you.If you want to code trust me lazima you kumbuka it all,and yes it does apply,how you may ask?

At *ihub  as new techies we  were trying to implement a certain app that had internet bandwidth utilization,so if this is function f(x),when is  bandwidth utilization  maximum..f'(x)=0..f”(x)=0 will give a minimum utilization which is desirable. From this The value of the function at either a max or a min is called an extreme value. f ‘(x) = 0 at both min and max value coz the tangent to the curve is horizontal- a 0 gradient hence the evaluation to 0. both the min and max points r at the extremes of the curve (cant go any further or lesser hence they r turning points).at min point f ‘(x) changes sign from − to +, the opposite at max point.so its at this point…..does that answer you???

comps:remember dfd diagrams and system analysis,the way guys think its bull,shock on you,am currently working on a certain system(code named KwaRamali) and for the last week we have been doing nothing but paper coding.Drawing dfds o n white boards and implementing data structures……does that answer you???

Anywho i love programming and i love code.thats what keeps me going

 
 

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The dog ate my post.

The dog ate my last post,seriously,you guys haven’t been wondering where my writing went, ama you thought i was one of those one hit wonder blogs, no am still trying to keep you thrilled.After my brief stint in court am back.

Now let me see what has happened since i last bloooged….

ooh how could i have forgotten,my birthday was on wednesday,a bratha turned a year older,so how old am i now?

Assume my former age was X then in all honesty my current age is X+1.Does that satisfy your curiosity!!!

For once my birthday was at home,wasn’t in campo as is the norm,so you know what this meant,no contra bun could be used so am comfortably saying this hoping mum would see this,his Little boy not on Drugs. Just for the record i have postponed the bash to sato,Wednesday having been an office day,and yes booze will be served,but the proximity to a petrol station is not guaranteed so make sure you don’t ride on an empty moti….and for you contra bun fanatics of mine,make sure you bring air freshener

so you can rest assured my Sunday blog will have all the dirt that went down

“It’s been what? a week” someone at work asked me  today

Okay its been 9 days am keeping my cool @ work studying everyone and everything, why you may wonder,I want to know who to fear  who wants respect, who wants to be avoided, who wants those early morning  greetings “bwana asifiwe ” style, which interns to Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on May 7, 2011 in INTERNSHIP, Uncategorized

 

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Jaymo vs the groupie,hater and snitch.

The series in Question you may ask?

boston_legal

JAYMO vs OPPOSING COUNCIL.

In the case of  loyal followers vs akajaymo in the matter of the fore mentioned ab scorning his blog for several days,how does the defendant plead?

“not Guilty your honor”

“Will the opposing council call their first witness to the stand”

“we  call to the stand Groupie1”

OPPOSING COUNCIL: Please tell the court your name and your relationship with the defendant then give your story.

GROUPIE1: My name is Groupie and just like my name states am akajaymo’s number 1 groupie. Now the reason am on this stand today is coz    this nyga  right here has been snobbish to me like i don’t  exist and has even changed numbers on me,what nerve.

matter of fact since he started blogging he hasn’t had time for me,i rarely see him outside anymore and every time we talk he jolts away faking some wave of brilliance,you should hear him talk “Groupie baadaye, nimepata inspiration ya post  mazee”

I mean if that aint  snobbing,then what is??He even went as far as telling me he would leave his blog for me,and i believed it since the last few days we have been with him,no writing,no waves of briliance,just me and him. Till yesterday when he left me and i havent seen that lying bastard since

OPPOSING COUNCIL: let the record show that the lying bastard is  akajaymo.Who categorically  abscorned his blog to be with groupie.You may have your seat Groupie1.

we call to the stand hater1.

Please tell the court your name and your relationship with the defendant then give your story.

HATER1: (in a deep american accent)YO!! my name be Hater,with a capital H coz i hate on all yall fake thuging nygas nahmean.Now this nyga right here,this nyga right here! this nyga be a fake nyga, he be all up on my shyt,talking like he got samthing to say.Matter of fact i aint snitching,c0z yall know real nygas as myself dont snitch but i heard him bitching bout how he aint got no more creative juice left in him.How he thinking of just endin it all,and i was like i told yall  nygas he cant write.only thing he can write is the alphabet,and he need help withthat too.Nyga u aint malcom-x with your revolutionary speech….what!!

OPPOSING COUNCIL:
let the record show that akajaymo ab scorned his blog because and i quote no more Read the rest of this entry »

 
 

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The IT crowd:Feasty Friday.

TV drama for the day:

The IT Crowd.

Set in the London offices of the fictional corporation Reynholm industries,the show  revolves around the three staff members of its IT department,comprising their boss,the geeky technician and a genius named Maurice Moss….(sorry no intern in the drama)

Well my IT department is no different…there are 3 staff members plus me(the intern).How are my days like you may wonder?well..

My mornings are typical,its past 6:30am and am headed to the bus stop(i conveniently left out the part about how I woke up,dragged myself to the shower…you know) jamming to some music from my phone.7:45am  am at work.For some weird reason i always  find my boss  in the office,I have noted that I usually leave him at work am some how find him there,talk  about resilience….I am yet to ascertain  he doesn’t  teleport  himself  to work…so i boot up my machine and my day officially begins.

Now anyone with basic computer skills will agree with me that a computer with no administrative privileges Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on April 30, 2011 in INTERNSHIP

 

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