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Category Archives: MEMORIES.

Flashforward:Letter to first year Jaymo.

flash_forward

FlashForward is constructed around a high concept narrative where a mysterious event has caused nearly everyone on the planet to simultaneously lose consciousness for 137 seconds, during which time people see what appears to be a vision of their own life approximately six months in the future: a global “flashforward”.

Well let me do the reverse and send the younger Jaymo a flashfoward into his future.Let me send him a letter,and give him an insight into the man he will become.

Dear 1st year Jaymo,

writing-letter

Am guessing you will shrug of this letter,your attitude is at it peak by now,don’t worry 3 years down the road that will not change.I know  you cannot get enough of campus and you have switched from fanta to naps.That will soon change…keroche is working on a secret potion.

You and Google are falling in love,don’t worry that will not change much,in fact over the next years you will learn half of what you know via the search engine.

Obsession with facebook is at its peak,you have stopped blogging for  this reason,mum is on your case because your internet expenditure is at its highest,don’t worry wi-fi is going to be set up soon and you will spend hours on end surfing and downloading.

A certain girl called Stella  will walk in your life.No you and her will not groove but you will have a magical friendship that will raise eyebrows from chics and fellas alike.Ignore them,the rumours to.

The trio will be born! The random three:Jaymo,Marto and Stella.

On a lighter note,you will find a chic,the flip side is you will grove for 8 months with her after which you will break up…and months later she will be a baby mama!

No its not your kid but your friendship with her will still be tight.

Marto and you will get into trouble a couple of times,statements at the campus security office will be written,cell mta lala…just to name somethings,Your current friends will all get pissed by your arrogance,so tone down on that.

The Guitar…..YES that guitar next to you,every thing points to you learning the instrument,but you will not.Hip hop is still your first love and all this years in the future you will still attend WAPI but they have moved it from the British council to Sarakasi Dome….yes i know that sucks.

All those A’s your transcript has will go on decreasing! No supplementary exam yet but you got more C’s than you can count.The good thing is your whole class is flopping,what did you expect taking Mathematics and Computer Science.

Movies and Series will consume most of your adult life,so much so that in the future you are blogging using the series you have been watching

Animation is your thing,They are still airing Family Guy,The Boondocks is over lakini….the animation they are making now days is crazy. Despicable me will thrill you

Life is going to be full of ups and downs, mostly ups. So just sit back, and enjoy being in campo.Save your money because you will hemorrhage all your chums in Mombasa in your second year,you will bribe cops severely and gold digging mama’s will be on your case

ps .As i right this Osama has been killed and no he wasn’t in a cave.

Yours sincerely Jaymo,

the campo finalist

 
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Posted by on May 2, 2011 in MEMORIES., Uncategorized

 

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Break out kings: A night in a police cell

Drum rolls ladies and gentle men,the show for your viewing today is:

Breakout-Kings.

In order to catch escaped convicts, a squad of U.S. Marshals makes a special deal with several current prisoners. If they agree to help, their sentences will be reduced by one month for each fugitive they bring in and they will be transferred to a minimum-security facility. However, if any of them should try to escape, they will all be returned to their original prisons and their sentences will be doubled.

 Second year of campo was one i vividly remember for  many reasons,be it my new mastery of cheap gins and spirits,the new crib(i had since moved out of hostels)…..well you get the picture.Now just a couple of weeks after going back to campo for the first semester i was back at it again,the random plots

My room mate one Martin aka Marto had not yet reported so my tantrums had been inhibited for lack of a right man,well a couple of days  later he got back to campo and after tongue lashing about how siku hizi hawezi tegemeka,he decided the only way to calm our nerves was to get us drunk enough to induce amnesia.

‘Nyamira’, some shady joint  off campo was the destination 20 minutes later.Being just a couple of weeks after opening,money was @ un manageable levels,am talking CBK  levels.So it was no surprise that our joint was jam packed.No seats in sight.

“Nyamira,mbili mbili kwa hapa nje”,and by mbili he meant two bottles of frothy delight EABL style.

“Oya,marto barley ime isha,labda president”-right there is where i should have said no and walked back to campo but since he was buying,” mwambie alete,kwanza ni how much?”  “50 bob!”

yes good people,finje tu!

Now i didn’t require Calculus to do the math…500 bob would buy me 10 bottles,I should have known 10 is like a death wish…..a coupe of hours later,several trips to the loo,the occasional tot of viceroy and 9 bootles down,the urge was irrefutable!, lazima ningeenda tao.

So me,Marto and my 10 th bottle board a matatu to town,I close my eys and what seems like a minute later I was in tao.

“jaymo amka!Ama ume chew black out? ”

“Boss hizi vitu zako zime ni beba na vile nilikuwa nazitharau.Uko sure ziko legal?” I retorted to Marto

“wacha ufala unasema wewe! mimi ata sion poa “….paid the conductor and we were on our way.

Know if u read the Bible you will recall a verse talking about how a blind man cannot lead another. Well we were obviously in violation of scripture because Iwas leading Marto to God knows where! The confidence ii was exhibiting was remarkable,the next thing i remember was this undying need to sit down having walked for what seemed as eternity.

“tuketi nje ya club angalau” i told Marto

“Aya basi kaka”

That was a bad idea but i was to find out the hard way,Nje ya club Jaymo and marto sat,actually dozed off.Next thing was….a deep kalenjin accent.

“Vichana nyinyi ndio mungiki mna iba watu? Wapi ID?”  “Sina iliibwa jana”

” basi ingia kwa mariamu Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on May 2, 2011 in Humour, MEMORIES.

 

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one tree hill:Evolution of JKUAT chics.

opening hook:

One_Tree_Hill

one tree hill is a story of a couple of high school teens and we follow them through their freshman year,sophmore,junior,senior and their young adult life.In which course  we observe individual evolution.

well just like i always do,let the juxtaposition begin:

first year of campus.

good girl

The girls are at their most naïve, of course, in spite of themselves thinking very wise. They have all kinds of  values set, what they want t accomplished, high standards.They must be smart, well dressed, kind, polite, a Christian, hard worker, non-drinker, non-smoker, this list could go on and on.Classes are attended on time,cats are never dabbed,assignments never ‘photocopied’…..this list can go on like a roll of tissue so ill stop there,u get the picture.

Boys are the last thing running 0n their  naïve minds,but this in no way deters the fellas from ‘ponyokaing ‘ with them,over the years strategies have put in place and ponyokaing with one,so before the poor fresha can say ‘black ice’,the jamma will have pitiad her and gone to the next one.Her dreams of getting married to Mr.Right will go up in Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on May 1, 2011 in Humour, MEMORIES.

 

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24: B125PZ692 Confirmed.

I begin my post just as i will through out this blog,referring  to a  TV series that captures the context.Today’s show :

24

The show goes something like this,Each 24 -episode  season covers 24 hours in the life of Jack Bauer as he does death defying fits of heroism…the opening line goes something like “…the following takes place between 1am and 2 am…..”.Each show uses real time method of narration.
well this event mimics this format.

4:00pm-5:00pm
So its a normal  Friday evening in campus-4:00pm to be precise-lessons are just over and i can swear if u look  keenly  you can see the smirks on everyone’s face…well almost everyone except me….stick with this mental picture it will come in  handy later on.

5:00pm-6:00pm

so a couple of campus drama sessions later  i  hit  the hostels, grab my comp and console myself with gossip on Twitter and one or two inboxes from Facebook….

6:00pm-7:00pm
It happens just like it does every Friday on campus,the phone rings..”beep!beeep!” thank God for caller ID,because i am in no mood of picking calls Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on April 29, 2011 in Humour, MEMORIES.

 

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