RSS

Category Archives: Reflections

In walked 2014 lessons I got from 2013

I don’t blog as Much as I used to…let me begin with that…most days I have to write down something but heck…midway in the day I forget….any who…..I know many of you will think its writers block

peer-review-cartoon

2013 was a year of realization for me personally.I lost someone I called my teacher,I got stubbed in the back by assholes I thought meant something to me,my code matured, she finally said Yes to me after years of being in the inner depths of friend zone…..vitu mob,so let me basically categorize them for you.

Code aka ma source code

This code maneno all begun as a pass time in seco,and after that it was what I did when I didn’t have the funds to go pints with the crew.But I never imagined I would do it for a living. dont get me confused I knew I would delve in to code post college not Math but not to this depths. From meetings in Central Bank to  Safaricom and in between sijui how many other  blue chip companies and banks in between. Code was good to me in 2013. And I guess I realized if its not this am going to do post colle then id rather try my hand at cooking meth like walter white.

You need to end some relationships

If you wake up in the morning and you are already weighed down then kuna kitu hufanyi poa…and that was me in 2013. The work load of a coder is mad enough as is,couple that with BS from assholes who surround you then you are shortening your lifespan.

I worked on projects that I got in only by this words “Niko na Idea poa,I think we should develop” only to realize you are building someones dreams.Au projects you think are paid only for you to get facked in the ass by the co dev…pesa amekula,product hakuna  and since its your name on the doted line you are the one left holding your dick in the cold. So you end up remitting monies back you didnt touch,burnt relationships that are tricky to salvage etc. I felt bad when the friendship I had with a character I this Blog I refer to as Jean Grey ended. But that life and thats how the dice rolled. So you just wake up like size 8 and say am done with that crap…fack yall

You need to outgro your mentors

As a kid you would hold on to mums dress and felt scared when she wasnt there..but there comes a time you have to move past that or you will never grow as an individual. I Respected Idd Salim as one of the key guys who made me. and I moaned deeply his loss,I got insluts about being a mini Salim sijui Idd Wanna be and what not. Because my Merian blood boils hot I would simply have countered,I went to speak but was like never mind   wacha tu…..sare Jaymo Dumisha amani.

kuna watu mob who also influenced and I will forever respect that….but pole  if you think I will forever be in your shadow..I always give reference to Iverson checking his mentor Jordan and thats when Iverson was truly born Did Jordan go ahead and call a press conference and say Allen Iverson is disrespecting him …sit at the corner and think about that.We all wanted to be like Mike

I got My Numbers Right 

Wako wapi wasee wakusema na copy  sijui nani…haya ndo hiyo am copying this from a blog I love ” I got my Numbers right,It finally got to my code cranium. All code without scrilla makes Jaymo an un-focused coder. That is All I will say.”

Partnerships and Relationships

Biggest lessons fall in this category. There are people who will stick with you no matter what. There are those that will RUN away at the first sight of trouble. There are those who are there to USE you to gratify their egos. There are those who are there to PROFIT from your efforts. There are those who will STEAL from you, without a moment’s hesitation. There are those who will KEEP AWAY from you as soon as they start ‘doing well’.There are those that will smile at you then stab you wearing the proverbial VELVET glove.

Clean Up your plate as soon as you get your serving

Am guilty of having taken too long on some projects.Not because singe hack but because I was busy arguing Android na Iphone ni gani poa…Vaseline au Dame ni gani poa, and while I was doing this people were churning stuff out. I am guilty of having kimbishad scrilla sanaa,sijui client hajalipa depo sijui nini…and subsequently I developed bad blood towards a project,only for the scrilla to come and you left there again holding that Long dick of yours in the cold,project haikumalizwa na uko na pressure ya kumaliza. Fack coding kwa hao onsite coding with fellow devs has its pros superseding its cons

Bottom line is if you can build it as fast as you get it than you have the time to read Ghafla or tweef on Twitter

Tell your Girl you Love her More

There are days you wake up and its straight meetings and code reviews…bosses on your neck and you can barely get time to text or call. Or times when its you and her na system ime crash na you have to leave…let her understand. Coz when shyt trully hits the fan you know she got you. Thank God for Her…{ Thts for you Irene I love you Ma }

 

Advertisements
 
1 Comment

Posted by on January 14, 2014 in code, Humour, Reflections

 

Guest Post: UBAYA WA MAHACKATHONS NOWADAYS

Its been a while since I had a Guest Post on my Blog. So when a pal asked whether I could let her do one then you Know a bratha had to say Yes . So here it is {she blogs here if you are curious >>>>}

UBAYA WA MAHACKATHONS NOWADAYS

Been meaning to write this for a while and finally here goes. Ok Im not against competitions but seriously we need to rethink why and how we have these.

Napenda watu wa campo hio si issue but most of the time when you go for these things you will find majority of them there.  Si eti the other guys hawataki pesa but people be too grown for these (as in guys don’t just go for competitions just for the sake, watu wako busy wanacode “fa sustenance” si for pesa ya weekend. Lakini ka doo ni mob sawa). Most of the time you will get those who are on holidays, those who just cleared from school na wamecome kusocialize,  na wengine they just love the experience. Kuna wale huenda to make an extra buck and don’t think beyond the hackathon, then there is a fourth type of guys who have gone there with an intention of meeting the local Tech scene (if wazito watatokea), put what they know to test (coz they actually have initiative to teach themselves real code) and learn from the experienced people (they know there are guys better than them) so as to perhaps create networks for side husle jobs to build their skills.

Now we all know in campo unless you own a business or wewe ni husla you are usually broke so the sound of getting Ksh. Xk in a day sounds very exciting. Now it won’t matter if you actually have any skills or you are willing to do your best to add value to the team but getting the mulla is the focus for you since by mere fact of being in a team hata kama hukudo any, assures you a cut. Then lastly kuna wenye hujiita magurus and they think wanajua kila kitu….wololos!

Now this bunch (know it alls na joyriders) is what is giving competitions a bad name. Manze unaenda hackathon na unakutana na watu wanataka tu doo na they don’t even want to work for it. As in there is a difference between a commercial product and a class assignment and what they want to give is classroom material. When our University students go abroad for internships and the likes if they are doing CS (Computer Science or related stuff) they usually notice the difference I guess it’s the fact that they realize watu wengi wamezoea shoddy job kwa daro as in  “bora nipate marks. Meanwhile as we write Hello world in all languages kuna mtoii amepublish apps kadhaa kwa iOS …ok Moving on.

I think the standards at Hackathons should be raised as in if you tell every Tom Dick and Harry to attend kuna wasee hata even for their own good they don’t learn anything from there since they give minimal or no input. Then it has been noted (relax statistics bado hazijatolewa) that most startups formed by strangers in Hackathons especially mastudents hawajuani  or any other group don’t last beyond that. Only people who know each other well or have worked together and know what everyone else brings to the table have been successful.

Don’t get me wrong there are many gifted students shout out to UON, Strath, JKUAT, Egerton, Baraton, KEMU,  and the other Kenyan Campos’s but seriously saa zingine ……..Sawa that all!

 
 

Tags: , , ,

FIVE BLOGS I READ

It’s been long since I wrote something straight from the hub, Si *ihub, I mean git-hub , Githurai Hub, (that’s what me and @tayianaC  call my crib and yes it’s listed as such on foursquare). But I didn’t blog to tell yall that…so what do I wish to write about? Well let me first take you down memory lane. I started this blog some time last year as a way of conveying my intern life and my final year in campus; I gave you all tales of frothy indulgence as an Intern, tales of random raving with the crew back in campo and the current tales of a struggling freelance coder trying to make a living of code.

But I have not shared any stories of late, maybe because in between running left right and center trying to meet contractual obligations entered with clients I have not had ample time to blog. So today I will critique some of the blogs I read/am reading, I admire the writing skills many bloggers have, so here goes:

1.)  I have fallen in love with this blog by @arungaian. He talks about this UnSub called Doris, who the author pens regularly and admittedly agrees to be in Love with; he blends this with uncanny humor, Humor we can all relate to …. it reminds me of humor that Raymond Chepkwony   used to bring to his readers…btw what happened to Raymond? Moving along…The dude can no doubt write.

Side note: Who is Doris anyway?  View blog Link here>>

2.) Next in line is the techie/ HipHoper @_JM_13 (Jackie), she somehow manages to blend hiphop and tech into a blog. I Kind love how she manages to blog nearly every day, seeing her passion in blogging kinda make me feel guilty of not writing.

Side note: Ongeza tech kiasi kwa blog, feature coders and hiphop artists. View blog Link here>>

3.) I can’t miss mentioning the man himself @iddsalim (Beste Mnoma), jamaa hufungua roho when I comes to code…I have mentioned him before in this blog so sibongi sana…

Side note: You didn’t finish showing me some code maneno I was working on…mpaka wa leo nangoja. View blog Link here>>

4.) Blog ya @savvy is also one of the blogs I read, I have been reading her blog since her days in JKUAT, she can write well, her command of subject matter is admirable

Side note:  I don’t get her subject matter nowadays, I miss the old stories, and how she used to tell them, siku hizi amekuwa formal  Sana View blog Link here>>

5.)  I bumped onto Tom Makau’s blog sometime this year while conducting some research. I love how thorough he discusses his subject matters…you feel he knows what he is writing about when you read his work. I don’t know if I should call him a techie or a telecoms guy or something in between .He is one guy who knows what he blogs about.

Side note:  Blog more often   View blog Link here>>

 

 
1 Comment

Posted by on June 27, 2012 in 254, Humour, Reflections, twitter, weekend

 

Listen up all yee non coding Believers.

OK fine, hii mwaka inaonekana si mbaya, code wise actually… si ati am saying i haven’t gotten any runtime errors or fatal warnings, kwanza jana i had buffer overflows zingine crazy…but just generally. I feel my coding has kinda matured. Let me paint a picture for you: In first year while doing Calculus 2 I had this lecture who was  quite un orthodox, after he had finished teaching all 5 methods of integration he introduced a 6th one :Integration by looking at, this is what he said… in math there comes a time when you just look at a function and figure out how its integrated. This seemed quite the academic fit for my then young mind but a couple of Calculus and ODE lessons later i had gained the mastery, the mastery to stand up to smothing like PDE and not fall into fits of shock….

Back to the present,well code is no different from that integration class of mine, once upon a time you are doing hello world code… then taking baby steps to understand how the core functions work… till you get to a place where you have amassed  code skills and a library that you have created, that you understand and that you apply often in you coding  endevours. You reach a place where you look at code and know whats happening,how to optimize to reduce consumption on vital resources and most importantly how an exploit would be carried out if need to  ever arose and how to prevent said exploit.

Then you grow up a network of people who think,talk and pretty much have obsession for code like you.Anonymous and lulz sec  did IRC but us mere mortals just hang out on twitter or the *ihub,or at whatever place has good wi fi connection and just kick it. People start associating you with certain terms, just as you would idenfiy a guy like Alykhan Satchu with  IPO people now identify with PHP,JSP,java… that kinda thing.

your ka blog is  now getting kitu 320 hits a day with readers showing interst hapa na pale,you are being followed by a sizable number of people pia on twitter…At least wasee wanakuelewa…….. till one day someone has the BALLS to ask a dumb question like “Jaymo kama wewe ni mnoma Android mbona hukushinda Afrinolly last year kwa Google challenge,mbona hukushinda MsemaKweli last year kwa App circus….” the same guy goes on to rant “…. what do you have to show for all that code talk?”

Well hapo ndipo the Merian blood in me starts boiling up and i may decide to go all wordy on you and probably give you   abit of tongue whoop ass. But to what avail… to have you read it back from what ever location you are and you would be like”silikuambia…” Hell no Jaymo is bigger than that.

I have great  mentors in my coding life,mentors who will tell you that as soon as you make that prize money, hed to coasto and do tequilla on the white sand, you will be digging a coding grave for yourself because some kid will be on his HP coding while you sucking tities in lambada….is that the reason why i dont do coding competitions, well not exactly, id rather do a whole week of coding for a client, present excellent workmanship after its all said and done… watch the client awe in amazment, that look of gratitude in his face is orgasmic… then walk away with say X amount, knowing that the client will most likely give me a referal to someone else and someone else,na polepole jaymo ata pata dough.. than just winning a compe, getting the media and online coverage that will see you think umefika, ukuwe relaxed, pole pole ukuwe lazy. then mwisho mwisho you  fall out.

Personally id rather put in work on an idea i feel will earn me long term mulla than short term fame, a project that will change and impact the lives of people than an app that will probably not even make it to the mainstream market.Kenya is currently ripe.. Gava imeanza kufanya kazi, Bitange Ndemo is doing his thing,mpaka telecos flani hapo imeacha utiaji na ina allow coders to do their thing uliza Iddsalim…

What am trying to say is i got my thing going on… i don’t wake up in the morning and start typing lines of code for nothing…natafuta hella mwanangu and the best way i know how to is the one am currently doing… so coding fests in 2012 are a huge NO but ukiskia client anadai coding work halla at you boy.

 

 
1 Comment

Posted by on January 18, 2012 in code, JKUAT, Reflections, true stories, twitter

 

Tags: , , , ,

Things to do in 2012.

so every one comes up  with a bucket list of things to do in a new year sijui you want to get saved or you want to save some endangered species in the amazon or plant trees in the mau… well my bucket list is rather….well…. rather  Jaymo. Any reader of this blog will attest  to my over indulgence in that which I call froth, the same readers will also attest for my deep love for code, but i promise to tone down on the froth this year, after several muggings in 2011. But for real though 2012 is the last year i have in college{dont even think am gon do an MSC}

so for 2012 this is  what i want to do

1.)Get a Muturi call

Yes we all heard that call “….aki muturi ku** inawaka moto….” yes boys and girls i want me a call like that, where she begs me to come rock her world like the flintstones and then i give her a lame  exuse like “aki babie si unajua na code, niko na project flani nafanyia client na siwezi kuja….” and then she will go like “.. aki jaymo ntakulipia taxi,atakama unataka meli ntalipa….” all this while the phone is on speaker and the crew is LOLing like they just smoked a spliff. Any way you get the picture

2.)Ship marto to some weird tao when he is passed out

This is not exactly me being all creative, i borrowed it from shameless, if you dont know what shameless is click here>> well in the series the old man passes out after indulging in froth and finds his ass in canada, yes he is shipped from states to canada. And that is what i plan on doing to one Marto this year. You have been warned

3.) Go to a Jew wedding 

Jaymo wacha utiaji wtf you talking about ati a jew what???? Niko serious btw, av always wanted to those guys just rock, they exchange vows, break glass, then lift the bride and groom on a chair. like seriously, sasa imagyn niko maji alafu  mimetokelezea kwa weeding kaa hiyo #winning

Av always wanted to lift someone on a chair,so a jew weedding it is for me, ju ya hiyo story i should start hanging around  their synagogues in tao, so mkiniona you know what am up to

4.)Blog more often.

I pulled a sebatical last year and abstained from written words,am not going to lie and tell you i went to the bahamas to discover myself, heck i was in kenya, doing nothing out of the ordinary, jaming to campmulla while dissing em football fans. so this year amo stop all that, and promise not to blog about Kabinti…..as much

5.)Code,code,code,code

Yes how can i forget about code, hii raundi am going HAM on yall, so wasee wa ruby jua your bwoy be coming through in 2012, i once heard a coder say that if java is a pair of scissors then ruby is a chainsaw, basi ju ya hiyo story si php itakuwa a pair on nun-chucks???? I want to have the honor of coding with someone like mohammed ahmed maaway,or debug code for eyedol. yes you bwoy be going HAM… listen to a coder like Linda Kamau talk about the code while thinking of banging a female coder like mariegithinji... yes code lazima iendele.

 
1 Comment

Posted by on January 16, 2012 in 254, campo, code, Humour, JKUAT, Reflections, twitter

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

Muturi & Nicole Booty call.

Am not going to talk mob about that call rather i will just re blog what IddSalim wrote on his blog about the possible source of the Audio leak : So here is a snippert of what he had to say:

“………………The question the few Kenyans with a brain are asking is this. “Hiyo simu waliiskiza aje?”. The question the few coders/security analysts are asking is this. “Have phone-call interception equipment finally come to Kenya? Do we, FINALLY, have hackers who can do what Salim has been talking about, akatukanwa? Are our worst fears finally here? Should we be worried?”. So, I decided to demystify the source of the clip…………

I tried looking at the Audio file in MP3 using Nyquist-Shannon sampling theorem and other audio analysis models and the results were outstanding. The recording came out as a perfectly flowing person-to-person convo. The convo took place and could not have been cooked. And so, I came up with these scenarios.

1 – A telco employee did it

As stated above, it is POSSIBLE and IT HAPPENS that phone call and SMS records can be sold. The question becomes, how comes it was ONLY this call that got out. How idle would a telco employee be, to sift through ALL the GBs of data to get this ONE call? Still, idlers exist. And there is something called luck.

2 – Muturi did it

Using a Smart or Smart-Enuff phone, one can record a phone call. Muturi might have recorded the call (knowingly or just automatically), found it funny as f*u*ck, and decided to share. Nicole would not have shared this. Stupid female pride would not have let her. Muturi would. Stupid male ego would not let him not share. “Muone vile madem hunikufia”.

3 – It was a studio-born viral prank call

High probability too. A ‘real’ phone call can be, unfortunately, manufactured. At the last few seconds of the call, we hear the credit/airtime beep. If a studio call, then this is a specially crafted section to add to LEGITIMACY. Stupid Kenyans must have been heard saying: “Si hata uliskia credit ikikatika. Ni ya ukweli.” How would someone willing to pay a cab and pika nyama not have more than KSHS 16.8 of credit?………….”

You can read his whole thought train here >>>> Or you can click here>>>> to listen to it

 

In my personal opinion,and speaking as a guy i think Muturi must have recorded it on his phone, you dont even need a smart phone to do that,even an Ideot can pull that one,then to prove a point to his boys/pub mates/ex clandes,leaked it and waited for it to go viral and judging by how desparado nicole sounded, Muturi must have tapped that and moved along.

 

Tags: , , ,

The Struggling coder

Am in no way a big time coder….half  of the guys I have interacted with will attest to this….but am the type of coder who will hustle ju chini to be as great as someone like Iddsalim…am the type of coder who has only handled kitu 6 clients mpaka saa hizi…the type of coder who did a rookie mistake  that may cost him alot in the event it backfires

So here is what cut,flani wa flani gets a referal from flani wa flani that jaymo can weave an idea into a running application….the refered to flani wa flani goes ahead and conatcts you……set up a meeting with you.All professional

You hook up with  the said client…..He knows what he wants(my kind of client).he even has mock ups all done decribing what he wants….You like what he is talking about….at the back of your mind you know you can code this bila wasiwasi…..Quick cash right?….wacha niendelee…you set up a price for the said project…..ju kijana ako na njaa na anataka pesa pap ana  underestimate the true cost of the project….you are doing a project worth X at 0.5X (yaani unaifanya for half the price)…..you must have missed the grin on his face when you gave him your quotation.

Client ni mstrict…anatoa ma contract,una sign,haina ma fina print*hata ingekuwa nayo all my lawyer friends were drinking that day*

Una sign on the dotted line…..Jammaa ni mpoa anakushika ka thao usikose fare ya kwenda home,you agree kuitoa kwa the 0.5X amount…..haya basi…..huyo mimi home

Kejani comp inatolewa code inaandikwa….true to your word,in 3 days unakitu ya kumshow….call it a beta of sorts….You email him and agree to hook up later on in the day.

Kitu 5pm while sipping an expensive cup of coffee at Dormans that he is paying for he has a look at what you have  come up with.ana smile…ile smile unapatianga dame akiingia box mara ya kwanza….

unajua uko paid….right? wrong!!!

Ana anza za ovyo”ok ni poa but nilikuwa nataka tuongeze database intergation hapa na hapa” Kwa kicwa yako isha kuwa 3tier already…more money for this struggling coder….You are up for the task….

Kejani tena,after kukata maji kiasi unarudia code….2 days iko sawa….second meeting…coffee bado…smile bado…..ana za ovyo tena”nilikuwa nataka ikae hivi…” ana sample kwa comp yake…..na hii si MVC coding ati utachange view chap chap..au tusema ni XML unaeza modify ukingoja  que ya beef mess

So back to the code…siku ngapi mpaka sasa 7 days….Ina bidii urudi campo,Final year is calling…..

Client ana kuharakisha,una hustle keja,huja register units….stress kibao so you cant get coding…..Client gets all threatening..ana anza kukumbusha what you signed….”In the event of failure to submit said project in said days then you will be deamed to have abscorned and may be liable for any cost incured during interaction with fulani fulani”…bullshit

Damn…unajifungia keja..Daro ka zote hujaenda..Fluid Mechanics hujaingia,PDE hatahujui nani anawafunza….coding tu,atleast unahope no more changes…..mpaka mabeste wana complain ju frothy friday uko kejani….after a couple of days code imeiva….ime steady ka 6AM erection…..

You hand over the project and wait for testing then consequent payment.Akileta za ovyo usha bonga na fake lawyer beste yako vile  utamhandle…..umechoka na hizi changes ana ka akimake kila siku

Lesson learnt:Always read the blue print behind every contract you enter,specify enough time allowing you to test before hand kabla kupatia owner and in the wise words of my coding mentor(James Maina) always teach yourself how to price your product such that isikae so cheap*read fake* au to expe

so at least leo naeza lala bila stress ju code iko salama…ju ya hiyo story kecho naenda daro

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on September 7, 2011 in 254, campo, code, Reflections

 

Tags: , , ,