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JKUAT graduation. A letter to the fresha Jaymo

So he is finally graduating ….yes Jaymo is finally getting that piece of paper that will persuade mum that all the money she spent on me was not wasted. So as I was thinking of going for my Gown at Juja  a pal of mine asked me what I would tell the younger version of me if I could teleport back to 2008. back to when I was a freshman at JKUAT. Well after much pondering I came up with a list of the things I would tell first year Jaymo.

1.Campus will be over  before you know it,so have fun.I know it seems like all those Math lessons last forever but before you know it you will be doing your finals asking the crew when you will be having the last rave.You will have mad fun, you will get into trouble also…but the guys you call the crew will make campo rock the most. Marto,Pato,Ritchie,Mogaka,kush,mash and Brayo will have the weirdest plots.From kuchinja mbuzi 6.30 jioni just for the sake,to drinking Friday at 1pm till sato Morning(Photo finishing). You will get arrested by cops,take part in strikes,try and steal votes during JKUSO elections. Wake up to find Hookers in your room.Move into some of the best hostels in campo,get kicked out,become squatters do ratish and local brew kwa Pamela. The crew will be awesome. You and martin will get accusations of being drug dealers in school.That being said, don’t procrastinate in your studies (as hard as it is). Coz that will be your greatest vice. Skiving CATs and thinking to yourself ati utafanya make up next week is the largest lie that will mark your Academic life…You will make half of the math teachers hate you for this especially the Numerical Analysis CATs and Exam that you have never done to date.

2.Rave without guilt. I know you found yourself in a class full of math geeks who think the most fun thing to do is find the Integral of x in a 3D plane. Usijifause kwa hiyo crap. Enda frothy friday kama kawaa, nurse your hungie on Sato and back to class like in on Monday.Maths and comp class will have some of the smartest people you will ever find,some of the dumbest pia. Guys who will try and show they know better to win favor in the eyes of the Dawns,Guys who don’t know what unit they are in. Guys who will always  have time to teach you a thing or two in math (s/o to Kaunde I hear utakuwa lecturer soon..good work bro).Guys you will give your comp assigmnets/cats/exams to dub,Guys who will give you their math assigmnets/cats/exams to dub also. That’s Maths Comp  baabie… everyone will copy.

3.You will make 2 great friends in your class Marto and Stella. You will do  crazy stuff pamoja. you will get crazy marks in CATS (bot sides of the graph), you will get beef from people who don’t get the trinity. You will chew together in clubs,do the long mess lines kwa mess pigaing stories like crazy.Do pilau on Friday and ka Nyama weekend. Skive class to go swimming on a Wednesday .miss exam marks coz Stella forgot the email address (again) Diss all the exes you have/had,you will create something called the HAGUE..all the secrets you have about stuff will be held dear and you will promise to share kwa graduation square.( cant wait for that one.)

4.Weird Lectures. you will have those lecturers who will not like your guts, some will not understand how you can write code better than them (Felix the JAVA teacher) you will look at them debugging code and wonder WTF is difficult hapo. You will gradually shift away to your own zone. since Comp science will appear easy to you but people/lectures will think you are just a bragadosho kid. You will get a D in an exam because you answered all the questions right kwa Exam (fack you Data Structures Lec).Some will become close friends others will be people you run over with your Range Rover Vogue the day you buy one.They will teach advanced concepts in Comp science kwa  your  final year .a unit you will get an A despite never being seen in that class.Your final year project will be awesome. They will make several copies of it and put it kwa Lib ya campo…yes you will be immortalized.

5.You will make friends,you will make enemies also.The two exist together like ying and yang.But the worst thing will be when people you hold dear stub you in the back.Screw you in deals.That will hurt but you got to keep it real .I rest that on there.

6.Hug Mum more,she will always be the one to support you when everyone else will be giving you the eye.You will have your difficult times.She will find out that you drink but will not think much of it till you fack up stuff at around 2ND year.she will still pray for you and listen to you tell her about code. She will still insist that you get a hair cut coz she like you neat (its 2012 na bado alinikumbusha this morning), she will still insist you eat the first chapo she cooks,and pea you more nyama than your sisters.treasure that and be there for her during her hard times

7. Faii and Mercy your two lovely sisters will still treat you like a kid, take advantage of that (financially pia they will finance your pet projects). Don’t fight that, you will have crazy fun with them and  they will always have your back.You will end up at ihub coz of them…its a long story but they are the ones who will point you in that direction.

8.As you grow more to code people will use you.you will code stuff that you will think will land you that break you want.People will pay you little and lie to you that they will give you a bigger job next.Its  not to say you will not have your money moments.You will make mad paper and by 3rd year you will think dropping out of campo and starting Jamuhuri Tech is the smartest thing since you will have done your first 6 figure.But mum will sit you down and talk(I mean threaten you) into finishing campo.

9.You will meet a chic you will call kabinti after the song by Bamboo..she will have you smitten for most part of campo. You will write about  here>> . Don’t worry In your  final sem of campo things will take a rather unusual turn. You will meet a coder chic. She will tell you stuff about Picaso and van Gogh. She will look at you like the best coder in the world. She will read books about the Gulag, listen to Lupe Fiasco make you listen to Bob Marley for the first time in your life.You will understand alot with her and make her continue  blogging (she blogs here>>). All I can say,she will be the best thing in your life. So don’t fret fate will be good to you.

10. You will start a blog. this blog actually, to share what you think of life. to share your code stuff.People will read it. Some will not understand it, others will love it. You will write similar to Idd Salim and people will diss you for that (Salim himself will tell you that also). But Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and for that he will let it slide.You will meet great coders in Kenya, they will teach you alot you will also share alot with other coders. Some will steal your work, others will claim your work to be there’s. All this events will be immortalized  in this blog.This little blog of yours.

So in conclusion first year Jaymo… tomorrow I get my graduation gown, and call JKUAT my Alma-mater as of next week.You will do good things…actually great things..so I have confidence in you and that is all the older Jaymo has to say.

<peace/>

 
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Posted by on November 21, 2012 in JKUAT, MEMORIES., music, twitter

 

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Listen up all yee non coding Believers.

OK fine, hii mwaka inaonekana si mbaya, code wise actually… si ati am saying i haven’t gotten any runtime errors or fatal warnings, kwanza jana i had buffer overflows zingine crazy…but just generally. I feel my coding has kinda matured. Let me paint a picture for you: In first year while doing Calculus 2 I had this lecture who was  quite un orthodox, after he had finished teaching all 5 methods of integration he introduced a 6th one :Integration by looking at, this is what he said… in math there comes a time when you just look at a function and figure out how its integrated. This seemed quite the academic fit for my then young mind but a couple of Calculus and ODE lessons later i had gained the mastery, the mastery to stand up to smothing like PDE and not fall into fits of shock….

Back to the present,well code is no different from that integration class of mine, once upon a time you are doing hello world code… then taking baby steps to understand how the core functions work… till you get to a place where you have amassed  code skills and a library that you have created, that you understand and that you apply often in you coding  endevours. You reach a place where you look at code and know whats happening,how to optimize to reduce consumption on vital resources and most importantly how an exploit would be carried out if need to  ever arose and how to prevent said exploit.

Then you grow up a network of people who think,talk and pretty much have obsession for code like you.Anonymous and lulz sec  did IRC but us mere mortals just hang out on twitter or the *ihub,or at whatever place has good wi fi connection and just kick it. People start associating you with certain terms, just as you would idenfiy a guy like Alykhan Satchu with  IPO people now identify with PHP,JSP,java… that kinda thing.

your ka blog is  now getting kitu 320 hits a day with readers showing interst hapa na pale,you are being followed by a sizable number of people pia on twitter…At least wasee wanakuelewa…….. till one day someone has the BALLS to ask a dumb question like “Jaymo kama wewe ni mnoma Android mbona hukushinda Afrinolly last year kwa Google challenge,mbona hukushinda MsemaKweli last year kwa App circus….” the same guy goes on to rant “…. what do you have to show for all that code talk?”

Well hapo ndipo the Merian blood in me starts boiling up and i may decide to go all wordy on you and probably give you   abit of tongue whoop ass. But to what avail… to have you read it back from what ever location you are and you would be like”silikuambia…” Hell no Jaymo is bigger than that.

I have great  mentors in my coding life,mentors who will tell you that as soon as you make that prize money, hed to coasto and do tequilla on the white sand, you will be digging a coding grave for yourself because some kid will be on his HP coding while you sucking tities in lambada….is that the reason why i dont do coding competitions, well not exactly, id rather do a whole week of coding for a client, present excellent workmanship after its all said and done… watch the client awe in amazment, that look of gratitude in his face is orgasmic… then walk away with say X amount, knowing that the client will most likely give me a referal to someone else and someone else,na polepole jaymo ata pata dough.. than just winning a compe, getting the media and online coverage that will see you think umefika, ukuwe relaxed, pole pole ukuwe lazy. then mwisho mwisho you  fall out.

Personally id rather put in work on an idea i feel will earn me long term mulla than short term fame, a project that will change and impact the lives of people than an app that will probably not even make it to the mainstream market.Kenya is currently ripe.. Gava imeanza kufanya kazi, Bitange Ndemo is doing his thing,mpaka telecos flani hapo imeacha utiaji na ina allow coders to do their thing uliza Iddsalim…

What am trying to say is i got my thing going on… i don’t wake up in the morning and start typing lines of code for nothing…natafuta hella mwanangu and the best way i know how to is the one am currently doing… so coding fests in 2012 are a huge NO but ukiskia client anadai coding work halla at you boy.

 

 
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Posted by on January 18, 2012 in code, JKUAT, Reflections, true stories, twitter

 

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Things to do in 2012.

so every one comes up  with a bucket list of things to do in a new year sijui you want to get saved or you want to save some endangered species in the amazon or plant trees in the mau… well my bucket list is rather….well…. rather  Jaymo. Any reader of this blog will attest  to my over indulgence in that which I call froth, the same readers will also attest for my deep love for code, but i promise to tone down on the froth this year, after several muggings in 2011. But for real though 2012 is the last year i have in college{dont even think am gon do an MSC}

so for 2012 this is  what i want to do

1.)Get a Muturi call

Yes we all heard that call “….aki muturi ku** inawaka moto….” yes boys and girls i want me a call like that, where she begs me to come rock her world like the flintstones and then i give her a lame  exuse like “aki babie si unajua na code, niko na project flani nafanyia client na siwezi kuja….” and then she will go like “.. aki jaymo ntakulipia taxi,atakama unataka meli ntalipa….” all this while the phone is on speaker and the crew is LOLing like they just smoked a spliff. Any way you get the picture

2.)Ship marto to some weird tao when he is passed out

This is not exactly me being all creative, i borrowed it from shameless, if you dont know what shameless is click here>> well in the series the old man passes out after indulging in froth and finds his ass in canada, yes he is shipped from states to canada. And that is what i plan on doing to one Marto this year. You have been warned

3.) Go to a Jew wedding 

Jaymo wacha utiaji wtf you talking about ati a jew what???? Niko serious btw, av always wanted to those guys just rock, they exchange vows, break glass, then lift the bride and groom on a chair. like seriously, sasa imagyn niko maji alafu  mimetokelezea kwa weeding kaa hiyo #winning

Av always wanted to lift someone on a chair,so a jew weedding it is for me, ju ya hiyo story i should start hanging around  their synagogues in tao, so mkiniona you know what am up to

4.)Blog more often.

I pulled a sebatical last year and abstained from written words,am not going to lie and tell you i went to the bahamas to discover myself, heck i was in kenya, doing nothing out of the ordinary, jaming to campmulla while dissing em football fans. so this year amo stop all that, and promise not to blog about Kabinti…..as much

5.)Code,code,code,code

Yes how can i forget about code, hii raundi am going HAM on yall, so wasee wa ruby jua your bwoy be coming through in 2012, i once heard a coder say that if java is a pair of scissors then ruby is a chainsaw, basi ju ya hiyo story si php itakuwa a pair on nun-chucks???? I want to have the honor of coding with someone like mohammed ahmed maaway,or debug code for eyedol. yes you bwoy be going HAM… listen to a coder like Linda Kamau talk about the code while thinking of banging a female coder like mariegithinji... yes code lazima iendele.

 
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Posted by on January 16, 2012 in 254, campo, code, Humour, JKUAT, Reflections, twitter

 

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Me and Code:

I like this Fabo’s song that goes something like “…… sometimes I amaze sometimes I disappoint, sometimes I treat friends like its just some change, like shaq in the  line you probably miss the point but when you take a chance ever wondered where you took it from……..”

I am all sleepy, its 11.08 pm and I havent slept since jana… What have I been up to? well you may think I  was engaging in the usual froty indulgence that saw me photofinish some time in the Am and I had to get my ass back to campo in time for that Numerical Analysis lesson<yes I  have a class on a public holiday>. But no I was coding… I got in the zone around 7pm jana evening and  hevent left my machine since… I must have overdosed on  coffee coz I swear I cant feel my face.

Am listening to Denis Brown as  I write this not because I  have suddenly shfifted to reggae for relaxing but simply coz my playlist has ishad and the last songs I  added were reggae. I love code… the feeling one gets when you type something into an IDE and a living breathing(ok not exactly breathing) piece of software comes out. I guess that’s what God must have felt after creation,looking at the work of his hands and smilling simply to himself. I have been struggling with JSON for sometime… it was posting an error in my application….what application you may ask?

well for my final year am writing an android application that makes realestate mapping very easy, crudely put unaweza tafuta hao very easily… well Several of m beta testers have benn comaplaining that the code was posting some run-time error.  Hii imenikuala akili sana, so I  had to find a way of solving it bila ku re write code yote. Jana afta supper  I  went online. Found several forums about this and that,and started operating on my patient call me doctor James.

I get in the zone most times,plug in my head phones and just forget it all…. get all indulged in the code. At times this facks up alot of things in my life… yes you know that saying that goes that all nerds end up being alone coz half the time they chase away the good things in their life and elope with the code ,well its true..so before i go to sleep, i want to clear the air and talk to one or two readers who happen to be close friends of mine but who i have lengad for some time due to my over indulgence in certain.

Sorry pseudo names will be employed to mask true identity….

I begin with Biquits.. yes i know am a dick at times, i  spend more time with code than i  do with you, its nothing personal, i know you understand.. you the one who encourages me to do this stuff and even when i get syntax errors  i always know you will tell me to keep my head up.

Kabinti...Frothy friday nilikuona but shyt happened, went back to campo and ave been coding since.. i missed a CAT coz i was too tired from the previous night to even soma. I know you good kwenye uko so i will achia hapo..just wanted you to know.

Jean Grey aka the therapist,  If you buy a gun and shoot me then let it be stated in my will that i forgive you, I have not seen or heard from you in ages.. i don’t know if you even read my blog anymore but if it helps i still miss the sessions where i would speak geek and you would Google and try to be all nerd on me. Miss that alot so as soon as my app is done me and you are doing that Coffee at Mug’s

 
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Posted by on October 20, 2011 in 254, campo, code, Humour, JKUAT

 

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Hacking WI-FI ya JKUAT.

I get scared at times….not of cliche things like of the dark or of being shot by the cops because I come from one of those neighborhoods.What scares me most is cyber attack….This is going to be a tech post so if you  not into that kind of thing please click here>>>>

That being said let me  dive head fist into the contents.I am a wi-fi junkie… I spend more time online than I do with my girlfriend,Wi-fi has been good to me(when its not that time of the month when it gets all hormonal)…So why am I afraid???

Well lets just take it from the top…I share an access point with some 100 or so guys at peak and 4-5 at off peak,the commonest site visited is Facebook, YouTube and probably Yahoo(I didn’t mention Google coz it goes without say).Peak time is usually from 7-10Pm and off peak ranges from there..The wi-fi network is protected with a  WPA2  security pass and AES encryption format(not TKIP)..The network is behind a proxy server that runs SQUID..and what do we all know about squid??? Squid sacks at HTTPS (ad rather go for an ISA server but then again am not JKUAT,i only go to school there)

Sasa Jaymo ju umetuambia hii yote,how does an attack occur?.kwanza this is purely for educational  purposes.one of  the easiest attacks is using a lilttle known tool called firesheep.Ok firesheep is fa***** easy to use,.Primarily coz its not a stand alone software rather a firefox addon…With this nifty addon you can do a tonne of things to rookie web users…wanna hear like what?

Supposing student x logs on to an acess point say RUNDA wireless connection.The DHCP awards him a renewable 1 hour lease on an IP(all without him knowing) and he establishes an Internet connection.He is just from chatting with this fresha chic who gave him her Facebook handle,so student X wants to snoop…He launches his Mozilla and types the URL,seconds later the login page appears,he logs in and continues doing his thing…pretty standard right???? Well across the yard Hacker X launches his Firesheep and begins this hack..he notices Student X is logged onto Facebook via HTTP instead of HTTPS..and decides to steal his session…does kidogo of this and that….minutes  later he has the exact facebook session as student X..while he is at it he even decides to go through this nygas Inboxes to see if he is still dating that gorgeous chic of his…If thats not scary enough,he goes to Facebook settings,changes the backend Email adress and Facebook password..logs out and kicks Student X out of his own fa**** facebook page….awsome.

How is this being done…session Hijacking…What all WI-FI networks have in common is that people will acess them to browse(daaaaaa) and when they do some one can easily steal unencrypted cookie sessions.session hijacking is the exploitation of a valid computer session—sometimes also called a session key—to gain unauthorized access to information or services in a computer system. In particular, it is used to refer to the theft of a magic cookie used to authenticate a user to a remote server(SQUID in my case)

Hiyo ni moja..next bucket-brigade attack…aka man-in-the-middle-attack.This is what good old wikipedia has to say about bucket bridge attack. This is an attack where the attacker makes independent connections with the victims and relays messages between them, making them believe that they are talking directly to each other over a private connection, when in fact the entire conversation is controlled by the attacker. The attacker must be able to intercept all messages going between the two victims and inject new ones, which is straightforward in many circumstances (for example, an attacker within reception range of an unencrypted      Wi-Fi wireless access point, can insert himself as a man-in-the-middle).

And since am in a good mood today am going to give you a proff of concept that I actually tried out….First Am usually working on a linux distro called Bactrack….(sorry windows slaves,windows cant hack..f*** what you see in the movies).

So open up a shell and get the tools you want primarily we are going to be doing  arpspoof poisoning and so we need to get driftnet and dsniff.

So on bash run:-sudo apt-get install driftnet dsniff. next we enable packetforwading…echo 1>  /proc/sys/net/ipv4/ip_foward   then cat /proc/sys/net/ipv4/ip_foward  this is to allow the traffic on the network to flow via your machine…then we begin the arpspoff poisoning

sudo arpspoof -t <your ip> <router ip>  split your screen and do the reverse sudo arpspoof -t <router ip> <your ip> . And that’s it,you are primarily the man in the middle here.Now you can have fun  with this attack…

an easy one is:

 msgsnarf -i etho, where etho is the name of the network interface..you can listen to all the instant message services running,am talking MSN,gtalk…any instant messanger.so you can watch someone chatting.

urlsnarf -i -etho, Listens to port 8080,80,3128,if you in JKUAT and you use wi-fi then you must know what port 3128 is.This one obviously listens to URL that are being sent.

If you are intersted in password then we can go back to dsniff and do that

sudo dsniff -i eth0, this will listen to any password being sent.

Now if you want to see what Student X is viewing online,kama picha hivi then we switch back to driftnet

sudo drifnet -i -eth0,  this will give you a visualization of activity on the network

Bassss thats why i get afraid…but no biggie…In my next post i will tell you how to protect yourself from and of the above attacks….wacha nikasomee CAT ya fluidmechanics

 
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Posted by on September 28, 2011 in hack, INTERNSHIP, JKUAT, true stories

 

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JKUAT graduation

So the good people at JKUAT  class of 2010/2011 will be graduating tommorow,I know thats not exactly breaking news to many of you,but it does warrant a blog post.A blog post to big up all the tweeps av grown fond of,tweeps who i have gotten drunk with,passed out with and even mwaorad with.I  will be a bit nostaligc so bear with me:

I will miss Shiro,Nelz and ka smalz the 3 adorable friends of mine.

nelz,shiro,ka smallz

The memories we have forged will never be forgoten(zingine ziliacha scar) .In between doing shots kwa stage,u guys doing shots bila lime alafu mna act like nothing happened. Kwenda rave zingine random za wednesday night,au monday evening when everyone else is in school.To funny events like the noodles fiasco…how can i forget you guys being fukuzwad by janitors usiku,crushing parties za wasee wa cu without an invite,alafu tuko maji ingine crazy.

To weird things like Bangara, and the long walk in pursuit,the cwazy house parties,drinking stuff i cant even post on my blog.

Going to mombasa like its nothing big

Remember “oya nelz si tudunde coast saa hii”,and its 9pm in the nyt…man you chics was cwazy,ill miss that.

Another group of tweeps i will miss is nesh,banda,brown,jack…aka the guys who drink and the guy who doesn’t

Where do i begin,Nesh the guy with the tatoos, in between you and marto dissing guys without tats ati”wale hawana tatoo watoke hapa”you getting drunk on sundays<i never got that> to pams on weekends,dude you rocked that shyt.

Banda,the 3 pointers on the court was lethal like an arsenic injection,you and jack worked majic on that court

Brown:dude your final year project was dope,ukinyimwa first class tuna tafuta omutata a start maandamano jkuat..

Next:drum rolls please……solo

Nyga where do i begin with you,You the only guy i know alive who drunk for 1WEEK STRAIGHT. Mazee kukata maji abijan sice 2008,pams with you brother talking shyt we couldnt get<umo lingo>,kwenda mess ukiwa first na bado una hijack line….dude enyewe ilikuwa tyt .

Lazima Nyamira<local bar> ataskia loss of revenue ju ya absence yako.

Yes am biased like that am going to miss guys wa mathematics and comp science the most coz basically that was the crew….

Nelz and shi,you know amo hit u up on twitter every morning as is custom…

Lakini kama hujatajwa hapa,usiseme ati huyo jama jaymo ana ni hate siku hizi.na vile alikuwa anashindwa kulipa fare namsort…mob lovings to everyone….

Back to the server room

 
 

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